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I'm on vacation this week, so I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes. If you missed it the first time—or if you need the reminder—this one's worth another listen.

In this episode, we talk about one of the biggest surprises in sobriety: how your relationships change when you stop drinking. Recovery isn't just about putting down the alcohol. It changes family dynamics, friendships, and sometimes even the way people see you.

In this episode, we cover:

• The three common "camps" people tend to fall into when you get sober.
• Why loved ones often stay quiet, minimize the problem, or unintentionally enable.
• How your sobriety changes the whole room—not just you.
• What it sounds like when support turns into pressure, guilt, or dismissal.
• Why early sobriety is about focusing on yourself—and when that can become unhealthy.
• How to set clear, kind boundaries so everyone feels more comfortable.
• A real-life example of navigating alcohol at a dinner with friends.
• Practical ways family and friends can truly help, including attending open AA meetings or exploring Al-Anon.
• Why some relationships naturally fade after you quit drinking—and why that's clarity, not failure.

I hope you enjoy this replay, and I'll be back soon with brand-new episodes.

And before you go, if you're enjoying these conversations, I'd love for you to check out my other two podcasts.

Inside Marcy's Mind is where we talk about life—the funny, frustrating, unexpected, and wonderfully ordinary moments we all share.

Aging Ain't for Sissies keeps it real with honest conversations, a little humor, and a little sass about what it really looks like to age intentionally instead of quietly.

You can find all three shows, plus new episodes, updates, and more at MarcyBackhusMedia.com—that's Marcy with a Y, Backhus with a CK—or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

Thanks for spending part of your day with me. Enjoy the episode!

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I'm taking a little time away to refill my cup on vacation, so this week I'm sharing one of my favorite repeat episodes. Whether it's your first time hearing it or you're listening again, I hope it meets you exactly where you are.

In this episode, we're talking about relapse—without shame, without judgment, and with a whole lot of honesty. We explore why relapse often starts long before the first drink through isolation, stress, and subtle shifts in our thinking. Most importantly, we talk about how to recognize the warning signs early and what to do if a slip happens.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why relapse is usually a gradual process that begins with thinking and disconnection.
• Common warning signs like isolation, resentment, stress, and romanticizing drinking.
• What people mean when they say, "Your disease does push-ups in the parking lot."
• The relapse thoughts that sound perfectly reasonable—but can be incredibly dangerous.
• Why hiding after a slip only feeds the problem, while connection is what helps us heal.
• Practical next steps after a relapse: reach out, tell the truth, get back to meetings, and start again.
• How friends and family can support recovery without shaming or enabling.
• How relapse can uncover weak spots like burnout, overconfidence, and unresolved pain.

If you're struggling today, please don't do it alone. Reach out. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help.

You can always email me at [email protected], or visit MarcyBackhusMedia.com—that's Marcy with a Y and Backhus with a CK—where you can send me a message through the website.

Thanks for being here, and I hope this episode reminds you that recovery is never about perfection—it's about coming back, one day at a time.

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We talk through AA Step Five and why telling the truth to God, ourselves, and another person can feel terrifying while also being the most freeing move we make in sobriety. We connect the work of Step Four to the relief of Step Five, and we share practical ways to protect sobriety during holidays and high-pressure moments.
• why Steps One through Five set a strong foundation
• protecting sobriety during holiday weekends and drinking-heavy events
• the role of secrets, shame, and isolation in addiction
• why Step Five is not confession for forgiveness
• what “exact nature of our wrongs” means in plain language
• why sharing with a trusted sponsor or recovery-informed listener matters
• how trauma and what happened to us can belong in Step Five
• practical guidance for pacing, pausing, and continuing later
• reflection questions to identify the secret with the most power
If today's episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear what I had to say.

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We break down AA Step Four and replace the dread with a simple truth: an inventory is information, not condemnation. We walk through resentments, fears, and patterns so we can stop chasing relief and start building real freedom in sobriety. 
• step four as a practical inventory rather than a report card 
• why alcohol often functions as a solution to buried pain 
• resentments as the “number one offender” and how they keep old wounds alive 
• separating trauma from blame while asking how it affects us today 
• fear as a hidden driver behind anger, perfectionism, people pleasing, and control 
• our part as pattern-spotting for freedom, not self-hate 
• “done is better than perfect” and why we work with a sponsor 
• a weekly awareness practice to start before writing anything 
If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who might need a little encouragement today. 
If you're enjoying my summer series, be sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode, Step Five, where we talk about one of the most powerful and surprisingly freeing conversations you'll ever have. 

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The moment AA Step Three comes up, I can feel the tension rise, and I get it. “Turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him” can sound like a religious demand, a loss of autonomy, or a deal-breaker if you’ve been hurt by faith, you’re angry, or you don’t believe in God at all. So I slow it down and translate what Step Three is really asking for: willingness. A decision to stop acting like you have to run the entire universe by yourself in order to stay sober.

We talk about why control is the hidden fuel behind so much anxiety, resentment, and fear in addiction and in everyday life. If controlling everything worked, recovery wouldn’t be necessary. I share a simple metaphor that makes Step Three practical: you’ve been driving the car for years, crashing, speeding, missing exits, and still insisting you’ve got it. Surrender is pulling over, moving to the passenger seat, and letting something greater than self drive, whether that’s God, the AA rooms, your community, nature, or any Higher Power you can honestly accept.

I also unpack the Step Three Prayer line “relieve me of the bondage of self,” because emotional sobriety often starts when we admit the call is coming from inside the house. Healthy surrender isn’t being a doormat or avoiding hard choices; it’s accepting reality, doing your part, setting boundaries, and letting go of outcomes you can’t control. You’ll leave with a clear weekly challenge and a stronger foundation for Step Four’s fearless moral inventory. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs relief, and leave a review with the one thing you’re ready to loosen your grip on today.

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Step Two stops being a scary sentence when we treat it like a doorway to hope instead of a test of religion. I break down what “higher power” and “restore us to sanity” really mean, and why willingness is enough to start. 
• why Step Two makes people freeze and how “came to believe” gives you time 
• how a higher power can be God, the group, nature, honesty, or community 
• what “sanity” means in sobriety as irrational thinking around alcohol 
• why alcoholism pushes isolation and how recovery pushes connection 
• the difference between belief and willingness and why willingness wins 
• what restoration can look like in real life, one honest choice at a time 
Every morning, say one simple sentence: Help me stay sober today. At night, say: Thank you for keeping me sober today.

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We kick off our summer 12-step series with Step One and tell the truth about why “powerless” feels so offensive. We reframe it as relief and strategy, name what unmanageability can look like in real life, and offer questions to help you decide what you already know. 
• why the word powerless triggers our need for control 
• powerlessness as “once I start, something changes” 
• the rule-making phase and the myth of controlled drinking 
• mental gymnastics as a full-time job with no benefits 
• unmanageability that looks quiet: shame, anxiety, secrecy, irritability 
• surrender as wisdom, not humiliation or weakness 
• grief for alcohol and grief for the fantasy of drinking normally 
• what Step One looks like day to day: meetings, texting someone, pouring it out, not buying it 
• questions to reflect on: trust, relationships, sleep, health, mood, money, self-respect 
• reminders about support: AA meetings, counselors, recovery groups, doctors, therapists, medical caution with withdrawal 

If you like this kind of real talk, but want it with a little more life, laughter, and what are we even doing here? Energy, come listen to Inside Marcy's Mind. Check in aging aphysics. Hugs and kisses go out and do something positive. 

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I break down the AA promises in plain English and talk about why they can sound impossible when you are new and hurting. I share how they unfold over time through honesty, support, and real life, not perfection. 

• the AA promises coming from the Big Book after Step Nine 
• why early sobriety makes the promises feel unrealistic 
• freedom from obsession, hiding, and morning panic 
• shame and regret shifting into perspective and growth 
• serenity as calm that does not come from escaping 
• fear of people and money worries easing with honest living 
• learning to pause and respond instead of react 
• why the promises are gradual and not automatic 
• the deeper message that you do not have to stay stuck forever 

You can also find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, marcybackhusmedia.com You can write to me there, and I would love to hear from you.

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We break the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps down into plain English so they feel like a path instead of a threat. We trade perfection for honesty and explain how step work supports long-term sobriety by treating the thinking and pain under the drinking. 
• why the 12 steps sound scary at first and how we soften the fear 
• the steps as a framework for healing relationships and changing thinking 
• why words like inventory, defects, amends, and higher power trigger people 
• a simple translation of Steps 1 through 12 
• why Step Four is about patterns not self-hatred 
• why Step Five reduces shame by ending secrecy 
• amends as accountability without causing more harm 
• daily maintenance and staying connected through reflection or spirituality 
• service as a tool for staying sober 
• why you do the steps slowly and revisit them over time 
You can also find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, Marcybacchusmedia.com. 
On my website, marcybackhusmedia.com is a link to Alcoholics Anonymous. There's also a link to Al Anon if you have a person in your life that has a drinking problem. 

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Relapse is the topic most people in recovery whisper about, even though it’s one of the most common turning points in sobriety. I’m Marcy, and I’m going to say the quiet part out loud: relapse is usually not a random moment of chaos. It often starts weeks earlier with isolation, stress, resentment, exhaustion, and the slow drift away from support. When we understand that, relapse prevention becomes less about willpower and more about spotting patterns early.

We walk through the kind of relapse thinking that sounds smart in the moment “I can handle one,” “It wasn’t that bad,” “Nobody would know” and why your brain can feel so convincing when it wants comfort. I share what has kept me grounded in long-term recovery, why connection beats secrecy, and why disappearing after a slip is the most dangerous move you can make. If you’ve relapsed recently, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not starting from scratch. You are starting from experience.

We also talk to the people who love someone in recovery. Shaming doesn’t create change, it pushes people deeper into addiction. Support can look like helping someone get to a meeting, finding therapy, and making space for honest conversation without excuses or humiliation. Recovery is complicated, human, and rarely a straight line. It’s returning, recommitting, learning, adjusting, and trying again.

If this lands close to home, listen, share it with someone who needs it, and then take one small action toward connection today. Subscribe to Unbottled, leave a review, and tell me: what’s the earliest sign you’re drifting away from your sobriety?