We were due for a really nerdy episode, so this is it! Internal working models are a common concept in attachment theory and are really critical for how we develop our own beliefs and stories as we age.

The information in this episode comes, at least in part, from this episode of a different podcast.  Internal working models generally mean our innermost beliefs, ideas, and stories about ourselves, other people, and the world. They're developed, at least in part, within the first 3-5 years of life.

Kids change their behavior based on 2 questions: What bring people closer? What pushes them away? They mold their behavior to get their needs met and answer those questions. Most internal working models don't have language to them, they exhib themselves through behaviors. As kids age and develop language, they then attach language to the behaviors they demonstrate, creating 'stories' about what their beliefs mean. 

The way you interact in relationships as an adult is probably how you got connection as a child.

Parents need to be as curious about our own behavior as we are about our kids'. We need to be as kind to ourselves as we are to them and give grace to everyone!

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