Yankees Brazenly Eye $313.5 Million Slugger from Red Sox in Absurd Trade Rumor
If you needed further proof that baseball insanity is alive and well, here it is: a hypothetical blockbuster has Rafael Devers, Boston’s $313.5 million home run machine and perpetual controversy magnet, rumored to join the Yankees. The deal-sure to make New Englanders weep into their chowder-would land Boston a slew of barely-unwrapped prospects, a rehabbing pitcher, glove-only infielder, and the post-prime Paul Goldschmidt. For the Yankees, it’s a gift from the baseball gods: pair Devers with Judge, and instantly forget the endless third-base mediocrity parade. For Boston, at least you save some cash and resupply the farm, assuming you enjoy watching Devers mash in pinstripes. Will this happen? Don’t hold your breath, but if it does, expect both fanbases to lose what’s left of their minds.
Colts Rookie Tight End Tyler Warren Draws Ridiculous Rookie of the Year Hype
Indianapolis Colts rookie tight end-and Penn State product-Tyler Warren is apparently the second coming of Travis Kelce if you believe Bleacher Report’s Damian Parson. Crowned as an early favorite for NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year, Warren is lauded for his size, physicality, and uncanny knack for catching everything within three zip codes. He racked up over 1,200 yards and eight touchdowns in college, which apparently is enough for analysts and even head coach Shane Steichen to start swooning. Pro Football Focus already named him the 24th best tight end in the NFL-before he’s played a real game. Hype machines beware: if NFL defenses don’t wise up, Warren may bulldoze right through that Rookie of the Year trophy, helmet hair and all.
Pennsylvanians Challenged to Reveal Summer’s True Hidden Gems (Couch Potatoes Need Not Apply)
Spotlight PA is on a mission to drag Pennsylvanians off their couches and into the wild by crowdsourcing actual off-the-grid summer destinations. They’re hungry for secret beaches, unheralded campsites, or, frankly, anything that doesn’t involve elbowing tourists at a funnel cake stall. Rule number one: it must be somewhere you’ll actually go (Instagram fantasies need not apply). Those who deliver the goods might win ultimate local bragging rights and, yes, some prize merch for their efforts. It’s time to prove you know the state better than your GPS-or at least better than your neighbor who still thinks Hershey is edgy.