Are you feeling "under the waterline" – that place where life doesn't quite feel right, where darkness seems to be stalking you, and you feel barely alive? In this episode of Heart of a Shepherd, Pastor Rob Trenckmann opens up about his own recent struggle with emotional darkness and shares insights from John 1:4-13 about finding real life and light in Jesus.Rob explores the concept of "ghost horses" – those false identities and inadequate sources we turn to for meaning, security, and comfort that ultimately disappear when we need them most. Drawing from personal vulnerability and biblical truth, he addresses why we often live with "a foot in each world," never fully experiencing the abundant life Jesus offers.Through the story of a predicament with an electric fence and Jesus' own wrestling in Gethsemane, Rob illustrates why partial surrender leaves us stuck and hurting, while full surrender to Christ opens the door to genuine transformation.This episode is for anyone who has ever felt the "soul-killing drudgery" of barely living, wondered why they can't connect with themselves, or questioned where to find light when shadows cross their soul. Rob offers both theological depth and practical wisdom for moving from darkness to the abundant life Christ promises.Series Context: Part of the "Encounters with Jesus in the Gospel of John" series, exploring why people – especially religious people – often miss Jesus.