unfertility

In this episode I speak with Cassie N'goala, a childless-after-infertility advocate who is redefining what happiness looks like for her outside of motherhood. After many years of trying to conceive and a failed IVF cycle, Cassie created @tbstork from the unique perspective of a childless step mum to process her grief and offer community to other childless not by choice women. Cassie is currently studying to become a qualified counsellor and aims to support other women who are ready to accept a life without children. You can connect with Cassie on Instagram.

Episode 13 | Final episode of the year! In this episode I am back to close the year with some thoughts on what I wanted for Christmas (but didn’t get) and what I am grateful for instead. For months I have been so focussed on the bad that I lost sight of all the good that has happened to me this year. The festive season is such a challenging time for us but cue Kendrick Lamar, WE GON’ BE ALRIGHT! And though it may not always feel like it, this entire experience is turning us into who we need to be. That is both wonderful and excruciating, but SO necessary. And it manifests into all the other parts of our lives too.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me in my first year of podcasting! One thing I am hugely grateful for. All my love & all of the Light(s)

In this 2-part episode I speak with Yvonne - a British author and activist for Childless women of colour. She wrote her book out of the anger she and the other childless women felt, who were not being heard or listened to by the circles they found themselves in. ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children’, was conceived out of love and understanding and born to give women like her the permission to unashamedly own their stories. Yvonne is a leading voice for women of colour’s experience around infertility, as well as an advocate for creating an inclusive space for black women and women of colour to openly talk about their childless journey. While our journeys are not the same, I had so many takeaways from unpacking the infertility & childless experience with Yvonne and I honestly felt like a daughter listening to her mother’s life experiences and the lessons from all of it. Not to mention that it also felt like looking in the mirror both of us; black women with short, coloured hair, big smiles, big personalities, a bit unconventional… infertility aside, I felt so seen and affirmed by your spirit Yvonne – that it’s okay to be misunderstood especially culturally because authenticity is everything. For anyone who is childless and wondering where to find support, Yvonne is a licensed facilitator of a global network for childless women called Gateway Women. And her book is available on Amazon. You can connect with her on Instagram @y.vonnej or via her website.

In this 2-part episode I speak with Yvonne - a British author and activist for Childless women of colour. She wrote her book out of the anger she and the other childless women felt, who were not being heard or listened to by the circles they found themselves in. ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children’, was conceived out of love and understanding and born to give women like her the permission to unashamedly own their stories. Yvonne is a leading voice for women of colour’s experience around infertility, as well as an advocate for creating an inclusive space for black women and women of colour to openly talk about their childless journey. While our journeys are not the same, I had so many takeaways from unpacking the infertility & childless experience with Yvonne and I honestly felt like a daughter listening to her mother’s life experiences and the lessons from all of it. Not to mention that it also felt like looking in the mirror both of us; black women with short, coloured hair, big smiles, big personalities, a bit unconventional… infertility aside, I felt so seen and affirmed by your spirit Yvonne – that it’s okay to be misunderstood especially culturally because authenticity is everything. For anyone who is childless and wondering where to find support, Yvonne is a licensed facilitator of a global network for childless women called Gateway Women. And her book is available on Amazon. You can connect with her on Instagram @y.vonnej or via her website.

I am back with another episode of my own story and general catchup about my/our journey so far and how I'm dealing with the break of IVF. Over the last few weeks, Solange's song 'Cranes in the Sky' has taken a whole new meaning for me. "I tried to drink it away. I tried to put one in the air. I tried to dance it away. I tried to change it with my hair. I ran my credit card bill up. Thought a new dress would make it better. I tried to work it away. But that just made me even sadder. I tried to keep myself busy. I ran around in circles. Think I made myself dizzy. I slept it away, I sexed it away. I read it away. It's like cranes in the sky. Sometimes I don't wanna feel those metal clouds. Yeah it's like cranes in the sky. Sometimes I don't wanna feel those metal clouds". 

In an effort to not deal with my grief, I have done all these things. Solange explained the meaning of the song as this excessive building up, and not really dealing with what was in front of us - and the same rings true for the recently resurfaced wave of PTSD I'm currently going through which has been building up for a while now. I'm keen to know how you guys cope with the grief of failed embryo transfers and the general grief of a life NOT as you imagined it?

In this episode I speak with Dr Belinda Coker - the founder and CEO of Your Trusted Squad. Belinda has been a medical doctor for almost 20 years, initially training in women's health before becoming a GP. She is an executive medical director with extensive experience in virtual healthcare, quality, compliance, patient safety, and patient experience. It was Belinda’s experience of infertility and repeated miscarriages that led her to start Your Trusted Squad. Your Trusted Squad provides health information on fertility health and wellness and earlier this year launched the boutique fertility concierge service, that navigates women through their infertility treatment with discreet, personal, holistic, bespoke 121 coaching and concierge support. You can connect with her on Instagram @yourtrustedsquad and via her website.

In part 2, of the episode with Akua, she tells us more about the Surrogacy journey and answers some frequently asked questions. Through the gift of ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) including surrogacy, Akua has two lovely girls with her husband. Akua and her husband dealt with unexplained infertility for over 10 years. After 3 fibroid surgeries in 11 months and a successful IVF FET (frozen embryo transfer), 14 years later, they were blessed with their first perfect gift, their daughter, Blair. Further infertility complications made it impossible for Akua to carry again and so they decided on surrogacy. In 2019, they found their wonderful Gestational Carrier (GC) who helped them give their daughter Blair a sibling and in January 2021, their second daughter Sloane was born. Akua is also a fur-baby-mum to her schnoodle son Buddy Ankrah, who she says, will always be her first child. You can connect with Akua via her instagram. Her emotional journey (through fibroids, donor sperm gamete which resulted in a pregnancy, and surrogacy to complete her family) has fueled her passion to help others who want to achieve the dreams of the perfect gift. And now she is channeling all this experience and passion into her own boutique surrogacy agency A Perfect Gift.

In this 2-part episode I speak with Akua Ankrah aka Jane Ankrah, a fertility advocate who is passionate about;  1. Educating people about infertility with an aim to de-stigmatize people’s approach and thoughts to infertility.  2. Helping people realize their dreams of being parents in whichever form they choose.  3. Educating women & men to advocate for themselves, and, finally,  4. Advocating for infertility causes such as insurance coverage.  Through the gift of ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) including surrogacy, Akua has two lovely girls with her husband. Akua and her husband dealt with unexplained infertility for over 10 years. After 3 fibroid surgeries in 11 months and a successful IVF FET (frozen embryo transfer), 14 years later, they were blessed with their first perfect gift, their daughter, Blair. Further infertility complications made it impossible for Akua to carry again and so they decided on surrogacy. In 2019, they found their wonderful Gestational Carrier (GC) who helped them give their daughter Blair a sibling and in January 2021, their second daughter Sloane was born. Akua is also a fur-baby-mum to her schnoodle son Buddy Ankrah, who she says, will always be her first child. You can connect with Akua via her instagram. Her emotional journey (through fibroids, donor sperm gamete which resulted in a pregnancy, and surrogacy to complete her family) has fueled her passion to help others who want to achieve the dreams of the perfect gift. And now she is channeling all this experience and passion into her own boutique surrogacy agency A Perfect Gift.