I had been seeing this 40-year-old nurse for a short time. I'll call her Rochelle. It felt like things were going well. She had a sarcastic personality, that I found myself liking. Sarcasm in text is complicated. You have to really know a person, and I didn't know her, so I often took her quips wrong.

I would pick her up at the hospital after work, between 7:30 PM and 8:00 PM, and we would go grab dinner as we got to know each other. She was not an easy person to talk to... lots of one-word answers. I was starting to get the sense that maybe we were not clicking, because I know what clicking looks like. Our conversations often felt like a test of my mind-reading capabilities. I have been around a while, and been in relationships before, long enough to know that my mind-reading skills are shit, even when I know the person very well. For some reason, women seem to have this undying hope that we will "Get them". Eventually we get better, but we never reach the level most women expect.

In spite of the stilted, and sometimes confusing, conversations... I still liked her. One evening, instead of going out after work, we came back to my apartment. I knew she had to work the next day, so it would not be a long visit, but things needed to either progress, or stop. One thing led to another, and we're making out on the sofa. It was good... it was progress... I was keeping an eye on the clock. At about 10:30, I figured we needed to stop our fun so I could drive her home... about a 30 minute drive. She did not disagree, but walking to the elevator down the hallway, she started making comments about me kicking her out early. Some clarity on when she really needed to leave, would have been nice to have had earlier.

The next day I get a text saying something like, "Hey I was not feeling the spark, etc.". I was okay with that, I was not feeling like we were in sync either. I still liked her, but it was time to move on. I setup two first dates for later in the week with two women that were around 50-years-old. Maybe my mindset is changing. A dinner with one on Friday, and a Lunch with the other on Saturday.

"What are you doing?" Rochelle texts me. "Moving forward!" I reply. "With other women?" she texts. "Two dates this week with 50-year-olds." I reply. Some time goes by. "We both know that you don't want a 50-year-old, you want a 40-year-old." she texts. "And we know that how?" I reply. "We know that, because you are going to cancel those dates, and take me out instead." she texts.

Hmm, I have to think about this. I have two dates setup with lovely seeming women, but I can't help but think Rochelle and I have unfinished business. She can see me Friday, and I think about keeping my Saturday lunch date, but then decide that would be unfair to that woman. So I reluctantly cancel them both. I was honest about it, telling them that there was some unfinished business with another person. Neither of them had met me yet, so it was fine... ish.

I pick up Rochelle after work and we head straight back to my apartment. Uber Eats brings us some food, and we start making out again, but this time it keeps going on into the bedroom. It seems we did have some unfinished business after all. I thought it was pretty awesome, and it seemed like she did as well. So much for missing sparks. I drove her home. On my ride back, I was thinking about how this had completely turned around. She suddenly occupied the front of my brain. The next morning I put myself on invisible mode on the dating apps, and sent flowers to her at work.

Rochelle has a busy work schedule, along with an 8-year-old, that she seems to have custody of most of the time. Our next in-person meeting opportunity was vague. I can live with gaps between seeing someone. Especially if we are communicating... but she is not much of a communicator. Unable to answer texts at work is completely understandable, but when you are not? I was starting to think, even though we had an awesome night, that something was missing. It felt as if I was "parked" in a box, that she would open when she felt like it. She was not opening it nearly often enough.

For all of our tough "We don't really give a shit" attitudes, like plants, men need watering. Also, like plants we can be over-watered... but no water is worse. Women are more vocal about their need for attention, but ours is just as strong. I am sure that if left alone, she would eventually open the box and let me out. Maybe she assumed I would just sit there, parked, until she had time, but life is just too short for that. I don't have any issues with a woman who has kids at home, provided they are able to make time for a relationship. "Emotionally available" is not enough... a woman needs to be "Physically available" also. I wonder what those other two women are up to...