There are few things in our lives that are as toxic to us, and others, as unforgiveness. It is deadlier than cancer and the longer it lasts, the more powerful it becomes. Like some amoeba in a horror film, it eats away at our hearts, robs us of our joy, dries up our spiritual life and brings dysfunction to our relationships. It is a heart killing, joy robbing, soul numbing and relationship destroying condition.

Why don’t we forgive? We want our pound of flesh! To forgive someone who has wronged us is to let go of our deep need and desire for revenge. It is to refuse to hold something against another who has hurt us. It is to give up the bitterness that we nurse - and it does not seem fair to us. After all they don’t deserve it, have not apologized, don’t know how badly they hurt me and I don’t want to let them off that easily. 

And so we allow ourselves to be incarcerated in a cell of bitterness even while we have the key to unlock the cell door - forgiveness - but we choose our dingy cell to the joy of sunlight, freedom and peace. It is a bad tradeoff. 

To refuse to forgive another is to forget that we have been like the one we don’t want to forgive. We didn’t deserve forgiveness, we were repeat offenders in God’s eyes and we don’t even want to think about all the stuff God forgave us for - nor do we need to because He freely forgave and released us from our guilt and shame. 

Paul put it this way: “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” - Romans 5:6-8

Given this fact, we have no choice but to forgive those who have wronged us. Our obligation is this according to Paul in Ephesians 4:32 - 5:2. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” 

To forgive is to be like Jesus, and I want to be like Jesus. To forgive is to free ourselves from the bondage and weight of bitterness, and I want to live in freedom. To forgive is to remember how often God chose to forgive us and continues to do so, and I want to remember His grace in my life. To forgive is to live in freedom!

We need to ask ourselves today. Who do I need to forgive? Who have I been nursing bitterness toward? In what relationships do I need to be an imitator of God and choose to forgive? For our sake and our freedom and our obedience.

Jesus, my heart is convicted today. I want to be like You. I want to forgive others as You forgave me. Help me with those people in my life where I am nursing bitterness and have not forgiven. Help me to leave aside bitterness for the freedom that comes from You. Amen.