Hanson says, “Virtue sounds lofty, but it’s actually down to earth. It simply means living from your innate goodness, guided by principle. When you are virtuous no matter what other people do, their behavior is not controlling you.

He continues, “As a therapist, I’ve seen many couples in which each person says essentially the same thing, “I’ll treat you well after you treat me well.” They’re stuck in a standoff — which neither of them truly wants - because they’re each letting the other person determine their behavior.