Gabbler (head stretches in the Wishfield): It’s not working! It’s not, I can’t… it’s- Pedup: He’s on the way to growin’ an extra head! Busher: Ah, this is useless! Tucker: Like the riddle was useless? Do you SEE where we are? Come on! Arlee: Give it the holly! Jagger: Heezzzzeee I haven’t pulled so hard since Mrs. Bruno forced me to. Tucker: Speed it up Gabbler!! Speed it up! HEAVE! Gabbler: Wait! Wait! Waaaaaaiiittt! AHHHHHHAAAAH! (Stretch speeds up to a POP!) Gabbler: AAHHHH! Pedup Bauer: The flys of ‘im. Gabbler: UMPH! Tucker: Uh!! Yes! We did it! Yes! Pedup Bauer: Askskskshh! The flies of ‘im! He got by with a little help from his friendlery, now that’s nice isn’t it. I am so dead. I may as well turn meself up to the Overlord and collect me death certificate. Arlee: Another team effort saves the day! Gabbler: I’m so glad to see youse lads again… I thought I’d never get through. Jagger: Anythin’ for a friend, fhooo… Busher: Why was it you tho’? What’s goin’ on? Gabbler: All I want to say is thanks lads, you all got me through to fight another da- (Ginger flies out of the sky and lands on Gabbler’s head) Ginger: REOORRRWWW! FSSST! FSSST! Gabbler: -aaaayy! AGGAGHH! GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME! Busher: PEAH! GINGER! IS IT REALLY YOU? AWWW PEAH! MY GINGER! STAY AWAY FROM MY CAT GABBLER! Ginger: Purrr purr purrrr purrrr… Arlee: Holy fong! Now that WAS unexpected. AHH! AHH! NOOOO! Busher: Would you stop that? That’s all you ever do! Ah me head this, ah me head that. Doin’ MY head in! Arlee: Shut up Busher! Tucker?! Tucker! It’s the sounds, it’s playing forwards finally, just the first bit now! “SECOND EGG! SAVAGE SECOND EGG!”  Tucker: This means something Arlee. Arlee: No shit Tucker. I’m glad you’re the one here with the brains. We must be close. Busher: I love you Ginger… Gabbler: Half me hair’s been tore out! Tucker: Shit! Wait a minute! Jagger: What’s up Tucks? Busher: Ah my baby, yeah, Neddy’s here… did they hurt you? Ah me baby peah, yeah? Tucker: Pedup! Pedup! Are ya still there? Arlee: Ask him has he seen an’ egg lyin’ around somewhere. Pedup: I am as true as I am here, yep. Tucker: Pedup, you have to stop the Gardens. If you think you’ve nothing left to lose then help us if it’s the last thing you ever do. Our friend, he must be near… you need to stop the Gardens so we can get to him quickly. Please! Help us. Busher: What are ya doin’? Pedup: Youse humanses want Pedup to do somethin’ for youse? Tucker: Yes! Pedup: Pedup Bauer has observed youse humanses and he’s fierce impressed. Yis are full of the friendlery… Akskskshshsh. Before the badness is bate out of me and me mind erased, I’ll stop these Gardenses for yis. Tucker: Oiiright! Pedup, you the, eh, you the Soupalon! Yeah! Go! Pedup: O-K- Good luck on the Trail of Bees! Pedup GONE!  Busher: He’s not going to that for us. Tucker: Well we have to hope Busher, don’t we? Jagger: Jaaaysis… Gabbler: Oh no… Arlee: Wha? Tucker: Listen… Gabbler: I don’t believe it… Arlee: That sounds like- Jagger: A voice. Arlee: Well of course it’s a voice Jagger, what else would it be? Jagger: The wind? Arlee: Sure, the wind… yeah, Jagger: Yeah, wheeezeee… yeah, I am right, that’s a voice Arlee, no messin’ Tucker: That’s Baldy and he’s got problems. Move it, follow the trail to the top. Let’s go! Jagger: We’re comin’ lad, hold on! Don’t bottle it! Huuuargh! Arlee: The Jagger-naut is rollin’ on… Narrator: The march is on to find Baldy… As Ginger flies in to be reunited with Busher… Yet, he still remains sceptical of just who is Gabbler… Meantime, Soupalon Overlord Malthus Brindle is perturbed… (Aboard Degus’s Orb) Sean: The humans are on the ‘Trail of Bees’ Overlord. Brindle: Pedup Bauer you will be terminated! Tonus: THE LAST! THE LAST! THE LAST SOOOUPERRRR! HE is HERE, AMOGNGNGNN! GRAB IT! He is the key… he is the secret… Brindle: LIE DOWEN TONUS! Tonus: Uh-ooooh... shshshhshsh, (Plop Flush)… Tonus: Uh-ooooh... shshshhshsh, he is here! Boghead: Brindle! Brindle: Boghead! Master. I- Sean, you didn’t tell- Boghead: Brindle, the task was to commence the Savage Garden experiment… Brindle: Yes Boghead, Boghead: …to finalise the bio-compound chips.  Brindle: there has been a breach; Humans. Boghead: A most welcome breach. We learn more directly from the minds of those we aim to control. Brindle: But Boghead, Dickus Soupus has brought them here, they have cut through our Gardens again and again. Boghead: Brindle! Hunt and kill Dickus Soupus. He is a traitor. Brindle: Yes, he is a traitor to all of us. Boghead: Dickus is a traitor to human fear. If Dickus will help them, he will supersede you. Hunt him. Kill him. Brindle: Yes Overlord,  Boghead: To maintain human control we must keep the mass ignorant, fearful and condemned to the lower fourth dimension. The humans on the Savage Garden have superseded this. They must never return to Earth. Boghead: Oh and Brindle… Brindle: Yes Overlord? Boghead: Behind you… Pedup: OVERLORD! Brindle: LIE DOWEN! (Scuffle ensues) Boghead: Boghead gone… (PLOP FLUSH) Pedup: Overlorderly, Overlord! Turn off the Savage Gardenery! Turn it all off! I’ve seen your snakery. Brindle: TONUS! Get the Slaggers! Immediately. Pedup: Ever since yis put the bad head on me for this job, I’ve had the visions; I see meself drivin’ meself a box in the mickey every day! And what is a mickey?? I am Soupalon but I feel half-HUMAN! Yis gave me the devilry! Bad head! I knew it once I met THEM! What have yis done with my mind? I got the visions. You gave ‘em to me! Put the bad head on me. See meself hosed down in the garden with the water and no dinner after. See the mammy bate me sideways for losin’ the bicycle in the forest after I went for a shite in the dark. What’s a bicycle? Who’s me ‘mammy’? YOU POISONED ME TO FEEL HUMAN! So before I am real dead for sure, all ways up, and youse take me, I will take away the Savage Garden! Askskskskskhhshhsh! Aw revenge for Pedup! Haahaha! I’s get me owns back on yis… Snakery bastards, askskhshsksh… Brindle: LIE DOW- (Zap Flash…) Pedup: UUUGH! Zapelry… Pedup… Gone… (collapses). Brindle: Tonus? Tonus: Life expectancy over Soupalon, mmggmgngnn, Brindle: Tonus!  Tonus: Never trust a Slagger, always trust Tonus! HENDRIX! Brindle: Pedup gone! Sean! Sean? SEAN?! Where is the navigator Sean the Degus? Tonus: Well he’s not here anyway… Brindle: GAH! Tonus, fly this orb to the Trail of Bees. NOW. Tonus: Fly it? YES OVERLORD! MOSH! Amplevoicepod make ear-film comedy drama adventures where we submerge your ears in a sea of sound, putting you at the heart of the story along with our heroes. Bursting out feature-length stories with over 40 titles and 50+ characters, all created from collaborative ideas and sculpted over months to arrive at the final mix. United Mutations is a 4-hour sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite Ulysses 31 but just as awesome.