Ginger: Meeeewww! Dickus Soupus: What are you lookin’ at? Ginger: REORR! Dickus: Gaaah! Ginger: FSSST FSSST! Dickus: Get it off me face, get it Busher: Ginger! Dickus: ARGH! (Farts)… Tucker: Now’s our chance! Arlee, Busher, we’ve got to get to that flyin’ shuttle thing over there. Arlee: What about Baldy? Busher: What about Ginger? Dickus: AAAAGH! Tucker: Spikus… Show me! Spikus: I’m sorry Tucker, Baldy has no signs of life, he has expired Tucker, I am sorry. Tucker: Fack!Uh, I’m takin’ his bulletbelt, in his memory I will wear it forever. Never forget what you did Baldy. Alright lads?     Busher: He wants the service now... Arlee: Ok Tucker, let’s go. Jagger: Yeah, but what are we doin’? I’m sweatin’ here lads holding this thing. Wheeezee! Spikus: You must go. It is your only hope. Jagger: Hey, ‘ere, can somebody else hold it now.., I-I don’t want to have the whole world in my hands. Tucker: Here, I’ll take it… Dickus: (Fighting off Ginger) Aaagh! Tucker: Oiright! We gotta get to that ship if it kills us. NOW! Tonus: Overlorders? Are you alright? Can you hear me? Slaggers! Slaggers! Capture them all! I, Tonus, am now the Overlorder here! Grab them! Grab them all! Tucker: Get the skates on! Oooh! This is a fackin’ heavy belt by the way. Busher: Lookit, we can’t leave Ginger! Arlee: Come on Busher! Jagger: Move the fat arse Ned! Busher: GINGER! Tucker: Don’t just stand there lookin’ at it, get in! Busher:  Uh, I can’t leave her I can’t leave her! Tucker: Take the egg for me Arlee, and don’t drop it this time. Jagger: How do we fly this hunk o’ junk? Arlee: Flick the switch like last time? Busher: GINGER! Peshuweeshuweshuwee! Please! Come to daddy! Dickus: Aaaghghgh! Mangy orange monshtaar! Arhshhskkhs… Ginger: (Hears Busher) Reroow?- Busher: She’s seen me lads! AW GINGER! PHWIZZZ! Jagger: More knobs than a fuckin’ SSL mixin’ desk! Which one? I don’t know. I can’t relax… me head... too much stress. Fhoooo… c’mon! Block out the demons Jagger, HUAAGH… Busher: Peah! Can’t look! Ginger’s all alone out there! Arlee: You can’t go out there Ned. Busher: (tears) noooo! Arlee: No! Ned! Busher: Don’t touch me! Tucker: Jagger, it’s just an updated version of the last one; see the left panel above your head? Jagger: Yeah?  Tucker: In the centre there’s a blue hexagon, Jagger: Yeah, see that… Tucker: Well, stick the middle finger up in it, an’ pull it towards ya! Jagger: You mean give it the finger? Tucker: Yeah, give it the finger! Jagger: (Breathes in…) (Orb bursts into life) Jagger: (Exhales) Tucker: Ooiright! Let’s get airborne! Busher: No wait! She’s seen it, she’s? she’s?- come on Ginger, YES! YES! She’s comin’! Stop the plane! Stoppit! Jagger: I can’t! Me finger’s stuck up her panel! Tucker: Use your free hand Jagga, spread the fingers out in front of ya and whichever way you move your hand, this baby will follow. COME ON GINGER! Busher: (Looks up) Oh please God… I swear I’ll do whatever you say, just make sure she makes it… WOAH! Careful Jagger! Arlee: Oh me heart, I nearly dropped it.   Jagger: Sorry! I guess this means I’m the pilot now yeah? Busher: Hold still will ya! Thirty more seconds for fucksake, that’s all I’m askin’. Gingeeeerrrrr! Ginger: (Running) (REEEEOOORRR!), Dickus: (In pain) Ah, come back yis beetrailors! I’ll have your insides for this. I can’t seeeeeee. Spikus: Go Ginger… Run with your heart of fire… You can do it! Hihih! Jagger: Wheeezzzeee, this isn’t easy with me fingerin’ above me head and me nervous hand out here! Heeeheee… Tucker: Get us out of here Jagga, them aliens are gainin’… Busher: NO! Twenty seconds! What’s wrong witcha? Tucker: Are you stupid? It’s suicide! Busher: We’re not leavin’ without Ginger. She got us here, an’ I’m takin’ her back ROIGHT? Tucker: Get your hands off me Busher. Ginger: REEOWW! Tonus: RE! SPECT! WALK! Whaddya say?! THEY MUST NOT LEAVE THE SAVAGE GARDEN! Wooo! Ginger: RORWW! Busher: Ten more seconds! Jagger: Ah sick, I can lift up just by liftin’ me little finger… (FX – Power moving up) Busher: GINGOOOR!! Ginger: (running) Reeerooeer! Dickus: (Getting to his feet) … This is one flight you’re not gonna make… Ya four leg festerin’ fuss fuss! (FX – Click of Silvic Liquid) Jagger: Up, up and away! Fwooouagh! Ah this is deadly. Arlee: Lads! Yis’ll have to shut the hatch! Busher: Peah NO! She’s nearly here! Looka the runs of her! Five seconds. Fowar seconds! Stay on the ground! Dickus: Think you can tear me to shreds hah? Spikus: Run Ginger! Run! Busher: GINGOOOR! Arlee: JUMP YA FONGIN’ FURBALL! Amplevoicepod make ear-film comedy drama adventures where we submerge your ears in a sea of sound, putting you at the heart of the story along with our heroes. Bursting out feature-length stories with over 40 titles and 50+ characters, all created from collaborative ideas and sculpted over months to arrive at the final mix. United Mutations is a 4-hour sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite Ulysses 31 but just as awesome.