Last week we introduced the four primary coping mechanisms that we default to when our body of pain is activated. Three of the four, blame, control and escape are much easier for us to identify and develop healthy, intentional new actions to move towards peace.

*

Shame however is more difficult to spot. While its initial genesis in our story may have come from an outside force such as a parent, society or religious community, it is quickly internalized. Without knowing it, we come to believe the lies it whispers about who we are: broken, defective, incapable of change.

*

Shame is a universal human experience. It transcends cultures, religions and value systems. Central to Shane’s message is the lie that we are alone in our experiences and a victim to our fears. Because of shame’s ubiquity and we are paying special attention to it this week, seeking to name the ways it shows up and proposing some strategies for how to cultivate our shame resilience. Crucial to the work of countering the power of shame is this remembering that empathy creates a hostile environment for shame and opens a door back to connection, communion and peace.