As the host of our system, I've learned that some of the hardest battles happen where no one else can see them.

In this episode, I share what it feels like to be outwardly present with family and friends while internally trying to comfort younger parts who are overwhelmed, frightened, or hurting. It's a strange kind of helplessness - trying to keep the outside world moving while everything inside is asking for safety at once.

I also talk about a nightmare that didn't stay in the dream. For the first time in a long time, my body screamed out loud while I was asleep - loud enough for my husband Kevin to hear it. All I could see was darkness, but I could hear Buttercup's terror as if she were calling from somewhere I couldn't reach.

Screaming at the Unknown is a conversation about fear, responsibility, and what it means to carry the role of host when the people you're trying to protect live within you. It's about listening when the screams don't make sense yet... and choosing compassion over judgement.