We continue our sermon series “United and Divided” this week with “Us vs. Them.”

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse appear in the New Testament as a metaphor describing end times.  John and Julie Gottman, (remember the folks that said 70% of what we argue about is unresolvable?), use this metaphor to describe things in our relationships that cause complete breakdown.

The Gottmans say that  the four ways that we communicate that DESTROY our relationships are:

Criticism - attacking others at the core of their character
Contempt - disrespect, looking down our nose at others
Defensiveness - how we respond to criticism - we play the innocent victim
Withdrawal - just like it sounds - we get fed up and we shut down

John Gottman can predict divorce - by only meeting with a couple for 1/2 hour - with 90% accuracy, based on whether or not the above are present in a relationship.  This is absolutely incredible.

However, he says the BIGGEST INDICATOR OF A FAILED RELATIONSHIP COMES DOWN TO CONTEMPT.  When we lose respect for one another, we assuredly are in a failed relationship.

This week in “Us vs. Them,” we are going to discuss these four horsemen, specifically contempt, and its place in our world today. 

Some people are just hard to love, and God calls us to love them anyway.  Listen to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7:

Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Are we missing the mark?

Us vs. Them