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This week, Rayna Neises, your host, talks with Debra Hallisey. Debra lost her job due to her caregiving responsibilities with her mother and, as a result, founded Advocate for Mom and Dad, LLC. In addition, based on her experiences, she has authored a book that provides a step-by-step guide for discussing relationship issues. Debra uses personal stories to illustrate how these techniques healed her relationship with her mom. She is also a Certified Caregiving Consultant, Educator, Advocate, and Certified Dementia Practitioner. She provides the following insights:

• Caregiving changes all your relationships.
• Summarize what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do.
• Do things where you feel heard, understood, and validated.
• Unexposed expectations and boundaries need to be addressed.
• When asking for a change, do not end with a yes or no question.
• Recognize the frustration and ask, “Is this a reasonable request?”
• Self-awareness is key.
• Use the drip method when asking for help.
• When others are helping ask yourself, Is it ‘wrong’ or just ‘different’?
• Think about what can help you, write it down, and make it a S.M.A.R.T. ask.
• Write down the way they want to live and figure out if that is something you or someone else can do.
• Find resources from Debra at www.advocateformomanddad.com, and her book, Your Caregiving Relationship Contract, is available on Amazon.
• Caregivers, you are doing the best you can, so give yourself grace.