... it really is MY birthday today 🥳

In today’s episode of The Negotiation Podcast, host Philip Brown, who is celebrating his birthday today, 30th September, sits down with his good friend Fred Copestake. A few years ago, during a negotiation practice session, Philip casually mentioned it was his birthday, and to Fred’s surprise, this revelation led him to agree to something he probably shouldn’t have!

This episode dives deep into the psychological and emotional effects of using personal details like birthdays in negotiations. The conversation explores why people tend to be more agreeable when they learn it’s someone’s birthday, and the surprising impact it can have on the outcome of a deal.

Philip and Fred talk about how mentioning a birthday can activate the principle of reciprocity. When someone shares something personal, like it being their special day, it can subconsciously prompt the other party to reciprocate with a gesture of goodwill or agreement.

Celebratory moments, like birthdays, can uplift the atmosphere in a negotiation. Fred reflects on how the simple mention of Philip’s birthday during their practice session lightened the tone and opened him up to agreeing to things more easily. A positive mood can lead to more collaborative and agreeable outcomes.

Philip and Fred discuss how humanising the negotiation by sharing personal details fosters a deeper connection. People are more likely to agree with someone they feel personally connected to, and the mention of a birthday can quickly shift the dynamic from formal to more personal and empathetic.

The duo also covers the dangers of using this tactic too overtly. While a birthday mention can help build rapport, it can also backfire if it feels manipulative or insincere. Fred admits that while he felt positively inclined to agree during that earlier negotiation practice, there’s always the risk that the other party could perceive it as an emotional ploy, damaging trust.

Both agree that mentioning your birthday, or any personal detail, should be done authentically. Overusing this kind of tactic could dilute its effectiveness and even annoy the other party. Philip emphasises that it’s about balance — using personal connections without overstepping into unprofessional territory.

Fred ends the conversation by joking that he’ll be on guard during all future negotiations on Philip’s birthday. This light-hearted but insightful episode explores the intersection of emotion, psychology, and strategy in negotiation — proving that sometimes, a little personal detail can make all the difference in closing a deal!

Inspired by the conversation in today’s episode, we’ve created a new addition to our Podcast Negotiation Cards: the “It’s My Birthday” tactic. For members of The Negotiation Club, or anyone looking to practice negotiation skills in a unique way, this card offers a perfect opportunity to try something unconventional and build on today’s lessons.

The “It’s My Birthday” card encourages you to introduce a personal milestone, like a birthday, to humanize the negotiation and leverage the emotional connection it creates. The goal is to experiment with how this personal disclosure affects the other party’s willingness to collaborate or concede.

For those practicing this tactic, keep these important lessons in mind:

Members and listeners interested in testing out the “It’s My Birthday” tactic can incorporate it into their negotiation practice using our cards, designed to help you explore both the opportunities and risks of personalising negotiations. Give it a try and see how such a simple, personal moment can influence the outcomes in your favour.

Tune in to Episode 14 of The Negotiation Podcast to learn how you can use something as simple as a birthday to influence negotiation outcomes, and get ready to sharpen your skills by practicing this tactic in real-life scenarios!

Join The Negotiation Club and enhance your skills in a supporting community of like minded professionals!