As we age, as our wrinkles grow and our skin starts to sag, is it ok to be vain? And how can we be kinder to ourselves as we age? 

In this intriguing episode, Sarah raises the question with Erika, when is being vain a little too much and how can we be more accepting of the aging process?  Sarah is married to a plastic surgeon, which means she has a wealth of procedures at her fingertip. And as each year reveals more signs of aging, she opens up about how her obsession with appearing younger has increased

In this honest and raw conversation, Erika discusses Vanity with Sarah in the context of how we view the world and how the world has shaped our perspective and values on vanity, and ultimately how we can be kinder to ourselves as we age. 

What is 'Vanity’'?

Vanity can be categorized as an excessive concern over physical appearance and achievements, along with an inflated self view.

Discussed in this episode are the 10 Cognitive Distortions

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking: You think about yourself or the world in black or white, all or nothing categories. Shades of gray do not exist. 
2. Overgeneralization: You think about a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat or a positive event as a never-ending pattern of success. 
3. Mental Filter: You think exclusively about your shortcomings and ignore your positive qualities and accomplishments. Or, you dwell on the positives and overlook the negatives. 
4. Discounting the Facts: You tell yourself that negative or positive facts don’t count, so as to maintain a universally negative or positive self-image. 
5. Jumping to Conclusions: You jump to conclusions that aren’t warranted by the facts. There are two common forms:
   - Mind Reading: You make assumptions about how other people are thinking and feeling.
   - Fortune-Telling: You make dogmatic negative or positive predictions about the future. 
6. Magnification and Minimization: You blow things out of proportion or shrink their importance inappropriately. Erika also calls this the “binocular trick” because it’s like looking through the ends of a pair or binoculars - some things either look much bigger or much smaller than they are in reality.
7. Emotional Reasoning: You reason from how you feel. In point of fact, your feelings result from your thoughts and not from what’s actually happening. If your thoughts are distorted, your feelings will be as misleading as the grotesque images you see in curved funhouse mirrors. 
8. Should Statements. You make yourself (or others) miserable with ‘Shoulds’, ‘Musts’ or ‘Ought to’s’. 
9. Labeling: You label yourself or others instead. Labeling is actually an extreme form of overgeneralization, because you see your entire self or essence as defective and globally bad, or superior. 
10. Blame: You find fault with yourself (Self-Blame) or others (Other Blame).   

 

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Executive Producer: Josh Butt
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