Description: Silicon Valley's modern gold rush has devolved into a circular firing squad of Patagonia-vested gamblers throwing billions at 22-year-olds with half-baked apps. While real innovation starves, these financial alchemists transform investor money into kombucha farms in Bali, promising unicorns but delivering donkeys with party hats.

Spice Index: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

This rant exposes VC's greatest magic trick: turning investor billions into founder vacations. Why? Because pattern-matching bros would rather fund the 47th food delivery app than actual innovation. They're not investing in the future—they're buying lottery tickets with other people's money, then congratulating themselves for their "vision" when one randomly pays off. It's a circle jerk with PowerPoint transitions.