We tend to ask the wrong questions when we first date or talk to someone new. Would you ask someone "what is your own red flag", sure engouh they will not tell you the truth. I guess in time you will found out on your own. We avoid asking the right questions because we do not want to hear disappointment. Overtime we might get the same response and answer, that allow us to think that we rather ask "NOT SO IMPORTANT QUESTION", because the cycle of asking the wrong questions. Never feel embarrassed to ask someone questions that is the only way to learn and understand them.