Video Store Nightmares

Join us down under for this off-beat Australian vampire flick. Kate is supposedly a descendent of Elizabeth Bathory, and consequently in high demand as a mate in some vampire circles. A "modern" cult of aristocrats, who keep human cattle on a large estate for blood farming, kidnap her. They plan to initiate her into the lifestyle, whether she likes it or not.

Despite her recent marriage, Jamie remains obsessed with toys and fixated on her absent father. She strays from married life to become a New York City sex worker, nurturing a fantasy of locating her father and earning his approval. Unfortunately for all involved, she succeeds the only way she knows how. A passion project for stand-up-comedian-turned-writer-director Stanley H. Brassloff, Toys Are Not for Children stands out among 70s pop-psychodramas for its unwillingness to cater to any audience whatsoever. 

In this offbeat vampire film, Duane Jones (Night of the Living Dead) is a college professor studying mythical African cultures, when he is initiated into vampirism against his will. What follows is a strange mix of Christian and occult mythology, with some startling brutality. Only in the 1970s can you find such eloquent intersections of art house and horror. Check it out!

Poor Melvin suffers abuse, mockery, and toxic waste before transforming into the Toxic Avenger and mopping up the streets of Tromaville. Check out the head crushing, arm beating, oven-baking, deep frying, and more, then join us to discuss the film that helped create the Troma we all know today. 

On this episode, we take a break from the record-breaking summer heat to celebrate Christmas in July! Fittingly, we watched this Florida-beach-set abomination from the very distant past of 1972. Santa's reindeer abandon him on the beach, where he summons a group of local kids and their pets to rescue him. While trying to solve the conundrum, Santa tells the kids a fundamentalist version of Thumbelina. 

Join us to discuss the world's "first wheelchair serial killer." At least, that's what the promotion claims. The movie is also semi-famous as the subject of a The People's Court episode involving pictures of Michelle Bauer. Bauer is inexplicably joined by Mary Woronov, Hyapatia Lee, Johnny Legend, and other b-movie talent sinking as low as they can possibly go. That's not necessarily a critique. As one letterbox review says, this is "transgressive garbage cinema" that has to be seen - probably multiple times - to be believed. 

Visit the world of City Lights Home Video with 1987's Epitaph! Poor Amy has to manage a few more problems than an ordinary teenager: a serial-killer mother with an alcohol problem, a missing father, a hapless granny, a new boyfriend, an undercover psychiatrist infiltrating her family, and a murderous painter intent on revenge! 

This time we revisit the work of Jack Hill with our first foray into fantasy - 1982's Sorceress! When a Merlin like figure rescues twin babies from sacrifice by an evil sorcerer, he sets in chain a cosmic series of events. The twins grow up, gain magical powers, and lead a ragtag team to try and conquer the bad guys. Somehow two sky gods show up, but no sorceress. This one's an absolute mess, but it's also a blast. Enjoy!

Poor Terry. His rapes and murders are misunderstood. Only his overbearing, obsessive mother seems to be on his side. Fresh out of prison, he seeks revenge on those who helped put him there. 

While on hiatus, we recorded a series of conversations that were never published. Now that life has calmed down, we plan to edit these conversations for release as VINTAGE episodes, outside of our normal programming.

In this episode, we explore the uncharted New Mexico desert, home to many hills with many eyes. This early Wes Craven flick is clearly inspired by the success of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Craven's own Last House on the Left. The titular eyes belong to a family that lives primitively, practicing cannibalism and communicating via walkie-talkies. Watch as a "normal American family" grows increasingly desperate in their fight to survive. Trigger warning: there's a burning, cactus crucifixion. Just in case that's at the root of your trauma.