You must show up or it does not count.  Just like in the election the votes are tallied and if you don't cast you vote is does not count. same with marriage if you don't cast your vote it does not count.  Your vote in marriage is communicating your feelings open and honestly. physically expressing wants needs and desires with your spouse. don't expect you spouse to count you vote if you don't actually cast your vote/emotions in a way that can be clearly heard and understood.  

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