I get the chance to ask my friend Amy all of my questions about how she finds pleasure and peace in sex. Amy is one of the most thoughtful, invested humans I have ever met, and she brings the full measure of her goodness to exploring what women can hope for from sex.

This chapter gets into the delightful side of sex, as I go back to my ideas about pleasure from a decade ago. Sure, I labeled the chapter What's the Point, so it is immediately clear to me that I've learned a lot since writing this chapter, as well as about the use of nuance. Some parts of this chapter are cringey, other's are sweet, and all of it is open to discussion.

Find the full Chapter 6 at this link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LjAby0PvrhAinn7B3165rZHTHtDmwVEcVXISOavi1nQ/edit?usp=sharing

I unpack Chapter 5 of the book, focusing on the surprises that came up in our first year of marriage. I reflect on the experiences of some of my friends and really conclude that much of what I thought was special about the first year actually continues throughout marriage!

Full text of Chapter 5 can be found by following this link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RHVxwyWSAzaz2Hdxv3bFmf2hwaY8Q_cqKzGD0KiU1ic/edit?usp=sharing

Today's episode is a great conversation with my old friend Cassy, who was also an interviewee for the book portion of this project. With candor and humor, Cassy shares about the road from falling in love in high school to learning about what you want as a grown woman.

In my most advice-column like chapter, I give concrete packing tips for your wedding night, share honeymoon stories that may or may not be helpful, and dive into my own doubt around this whole project. 

See the full book chapter here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cRqc-vR8ass7YN13nV2mdhn0VNfunrPhGNEXQZD6Gvs/edit?usp=sharing

With the stories of friends to guide this episode, I explore why waiting for sex can be a good idea, how it sometimes plays out, and why it all comes down to communication. I explore some of my favorite old interviews in this episode and keep learning as we go!

See the full book chapter here:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mar7SoGGVr0Mm1Bnl04eZAIUGVog-1_fsUewA88R3uo/edit?usp=sharing

I re-examine my ideas from Chapter 2 of the book about dating as someone who has chosen or is considering waiting for sex until marriage. The main two key things to consider were both boundaries and communication, which I still think makes a lot of sense. With those tools, I think dating can offer some really great insight into who you are and what you're looking for in your person, whether you go the conservative route or not. I share some of my personal story of dating and heartbreak, and about my gratitude for the experiences that helped me be more prepared for the relationship I eventually found with my husband.

Also, at the very end of the episode, I say the arch of intimacy, twice, when I in fact meant arc. Whoops!

Here is the link to the full chapter where the stories I touched on during the podcast are told in full: Dating and Waiting

In my first interview with my wonderful friend Nicole, we discuss my own panicked start to married life, the journey she has been on in understanding her body and sex, and the questions we still have about how to talk about sex, faith and our experiences. 

Please forgive the chopped-up audio, I'm sure it will get better as the podcast goes along!

Diving into the first chapter of my unpublished book about sex, marriage and faith, I get to explore where my own sexual ethic came from, and how I've evolved in the years since I started writing and interviewing women about their sex lives. At some level, this podcast is as much about what it is like to be a Christian woman stepping into marriage and sex as it is about being a friend who is willing to talk about real, vulnerable things. This podcast reflects on Chapter 1, which was actually called Reality Checks (not Collisions), and you can find the full text of that chapter at the link below.

Chapter One Full Text