Growing up, Bryan had wanted his father to be his friend. But too often Dad was emotionally absent, even if he was physically present.

By middle school, porn was already a deep addiction, and secrecy with it. If anyone found out, Bryan believed, he would be rejected. Yet he prized the approval and acceptance of others, so he remained in isolation and shame. He drove his secret even deeper when he began to experience same-sex attraction.

Moving off to college, Bryan began to experience healthy spiritual transformation in a new community. He learned to tell his story—and his secrets—and found genuine acceptance. Back home, Bryan’s father was diagnosed with an illness that would be fatal. In the midst of such a crucial time of personal development for Bryan, exploring questions of identity and the shaping influence his father had been on him, the timing of his father’s illness and death was especially painful.

Music credits: "Mountain Drive" by Sea Shepherd, "Remember to Stay Together" by Triads, "Take a Walk With Me" by Lowercase Noises, "The Slow Train" by Finn's Fandango, all courtesy of Soundstripe.