Most people are poor communicators, which explains why there are so many misunderstandings, resentments, grievances, screaming matches with loved ones and on X (formerly Twitter) and other social media sites with people who disagree with you. It's because people don't listen. They don't think before they speak. And this causes most of the ongoing conflicts in their lives. If you are one of these people, here is the secret sauce to effective communication that works with loved ones, friends, neighbors, peers, co-workers, employers, you name it: First VALIDATE. And then COUNTERPOINT. By validating first, you reduce the likelihood that the person will get defensive and angry, causing the dialogue to unravel quickly. So when you feel the need to criticize someone and/or enlighten that person, think before you speak and choose a validating statement before making your case.