Episode 4: Was It Me?

What do you do when the cycle repeats? When the faces change, but the abuse looks hauntingly familiar?

In this episode, I open up about being in more than one abusive relationship — physical, verbal, and manipulative — and the question that haunted me for years: Was it me?

We dig into the patterns survivors fall into, why unprocessed trauma repeats itself, how silence keeps us stuck, and the lie every abuser wants us to believe: that we’re the problem.

This isn’t just my story — it’s the story of so many survivors who have carried shame that never belonged to them. Together, we’ll pull apart the silence, the gaslighting, the shame cycle, and finally flip the narrative.

Because no, it wasn’t me. And if you’ve been there too, it wasn’t you either.

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care.

Resources for Support

Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.):

800-799-7233 | thehotline.org

(Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more)

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network):

800-656-HOPE | rainn.org

(24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders)

Crisis Text Line:

Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors

1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma):

1in6.org

(Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men)

Male Survivor:

malesurvivor.org

(Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse)

BetterHelp or Open Path Collective:

Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders

International Directory:

therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk

(Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)