In this episode of Waywut, Jason takes the mic solo for another installment of The Life of Donkey, and it’s a full-blown midlife unraveling—with guest appearances from his coffee creamer, his mailbox nemesis, and his own kids translating modern slang.

What starts as a list of “I think I’m getting old” symptoms (joint pain, coffee loyalty, favorite mugs, mystery back pops) quickly spirals into:

• A six-month feud with a mail carrier, complete with surveillance and passive-aggressive notes
• A Gen Z slang decoding session, featuring Jason’s teenage kids translating phrases like “slay,” “bussin,” “sus,” and “low-key glow-up”
• And a debate on whether blueberry coffee is a crime against humanity

Also covered:

• Tools you forget you own until you buy them again
• Why sneezing now feels like a medical event
• The terrifying evolution of text slang
• The moment you realize you’ve become your dad

If you’ve ever looked at a TikTok comment and said, “What the hell does that mean?”—this one’s for you.