We can't control what thoughts pop into our head. We can control what we do with those thoughts. We can victimize ourselves with our thoughts by beating ourselves up over the past, ruminating over resentments and grievances towards others, and catastrophizing about the future and how bleak, hopeless, and scary it is. Or we can process our thoughts, neutralize the negative and irrational ones, and learn how to effectively regulate our moods, anxieties and impulses.