You say you want closure, but let’s be honest — you just want to see if sleeping with them one last time will fill the void they left behind. (Spoiler: it won’t.) This brutally honest roast drags the myth of closure by its unwashed hoodie and asks the question no therapist will: Do you want healing, or just a hit of the same heartbreak in a different position? Closure is a scam — and babe, you're the one footing the bill.