Nobody warns you about your own house.

That's the thing. You walk through your front door a thousand times without incident. You don't brace yourself. You don't prepare. You definitely don't expect your mom to come screaming from the kitchen like an air raid siren with two seconds notice.

Two seconds, it turns out, is not enough time.

This episode is the story of one perfectly ordinary summer evening in 1994 that went sideways the moment we hit that front door — and the split-second act of heroism from my 350-pound best friend that probably saved all of us from a lifetime of therapy.

My friend Clarisa and I have never fully recovered from the experience. And Reedy? Reedy just wanted spaghetti.

Bill Roseberry Stories — fact and fiction from a time before social media and cell phone scrolling.

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