For 29 minutes, we actually looked a bit like a football team. Then Cuti Romero decided he’d seen enough.

With Udogie hobbling off and the squad down to nine fit first-teamers (is that right, Cuti?) we’re officially in "looking over our shoulder" territory.

Inevitably the Poch rumours are back. We discuss the likelihood and desirability.

Also in this episode:

• Flappy: Letting in a trundler before turning into Gordon Banks. Plus ça change.

• Souza & Simons: So good, we wonder why we signed them.

• Dr. Tottenham: Newcastle are at their lowest ebb - 'nuff said?

• Room 101: More footy nonsense for the bin

• Stupid Tweets: So many, so little time.

Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Lee Brown, and Kevin Acott break down the chaos.

COYS THFC