**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode outlines a period of my life of intense self-punishment. Even through the hands of someone else. I discuss sexual assault, physical and verbal abuse in detail. Please do not listen if these themes could be harmful to your mental health and overall wellbeing. This was a painful episode to record; it is unedited. As always, I appreciate your support and pray that you find value in my sharing. In this episode, I recount the darkest period of my life and the relationship I used to create it.