Numbers are neutral. It's the meaning you've attached to that specific number. I want you to really reflect on why you have chosen 75kg and not 83kg. It's got nothing to do with the number but the meaning you have given it.

Pre-surgery you were feeling out of control, that's why you had surgery right? There were high levels of anxiety around your weight. I'm guessing you got surgery to feel free...yet if you are so fixated on a number on the scales, you're thinking still hasn't changed. Your thinking is not free. This deathgrip that you have on the number on the scale is also driven by anxiety. In your mind you're still the old 'fat' you.