Welcome back to Budley; although due to our confusing one way system, we suspect you never actually left. We’d also like to sincerely apologise about the recent wave of gnome-based attacks. Rest assured, the town of Budley will not be seen as a ‘soft touch’ when it comes to the recent increased number of gnomes on our streets. We will also continue our ‘zero tolerance’ policy on Bill Oddie hiding in your bushes. He is a menace, and we will stop him…

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