“Okay sister, real talk here, You ever walk into church like a hot mess express — one lash barely hanging on, coffee spilled on your blouse, and your toddler screaming like a revival preacher in the back seat? And then you see Sister Holy-so-clean with her white suit and Bible tabs alphabetized, and you’re like, ‘There’s no way I’m getting into heaven. I’m barely getting into Target without a meltdown.’”