I’m a parent who’s walked through the fire of raising children touched by childhood trauma and managing my own scars from the past. At times, it’s felt like juggling roles: parent, therapist, advocate, teacher and often all at once. Some days, trauma whispers that I’m failing. But research shows something profound: we are not alone, and our efforts can break cycles of harm.

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Understanding FASD: The Most Misunderstood Neurodevelopmental Condition

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) is one of the most prevalent yet least recognised neurodevelopmental conditions globally. Despite evidence suggesting that more than 3% of the population may be affected, many professionals, including educators, medical staff, and social workers, remain unfamiliar with its characteristics and implications.

In the UK, awareness of FASD is significantly behind countries like Canada and the USA. We are failing to identify, support, and adapt to the needs of a substantial number of children and young people who are living with permanent brain damage caused by prenatal alcohol exposure. These children are in our classrooms, our foster homes, our GP waiting rooms. Yet they are often diagnosed with ADHD, autism, sensory processing disorder or attachment difficulties instead. The true root cause is missed entirely.

This podcast is a starting point. A one-stop introduction for parents, teachers, paediatricians, prospective adopters and foster carers. My aim is not to shame or sensationalise, but to inform, equip, and inspire better understanding. Because only with knowledge can we improve outcomes for these children.

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We talk so much about resilience, about supporting our children through the ups and downs of life. But what about us? What happens when we are tired, overwhelmed, overstimulated, frustrated? When I’m disregulated, perspective is the first thing I lose. Small things become massive, everyday challenges feel impossible, and frustrations spiral into what I call ‘EastEnders drama’ level events. I’ve always been aware of this, but I’m now trying to become more mindful of it in the moment.

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pring, Self-Care, and the Journey to Thrive

There’s something about spring that feels deeply symbolic to me. The slow unfurling of buds, the return of birdsong, the longer days—it’s a gentle but powerful reminder that even after the darkest seasons, life begins again. What once looked dormant bursts into colour. What felt stagnant starts to stir. And somehow, nature reminds us that hope and possibility are always waiting—even if they’ve been buried for a while.

This time of year encourages reflection. For me, that reflection has led to one clear realisation: prioritising my own wellbeing is not a luxury—it’s essential. Because when I do, I open myself up to the growth that spring represents. I begin to notice the opportunities I would have otherwise missed. I find the energy and resilience to help not only myself, but my children, flourish too.

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Imagine if every school had a Needs Policy, not just a Behaviour Policy.

Right now, most schools do their best with the systems and resources they have. Often, they’re set up like pharmacies—able to offer trusted remedies that help most children get back on track. For many, that’s all they need.

But for some children, those remedies—detentions, report cards, phone calls home—aren’t enough. And not because the school isn’t trying, but because the underlying need is deeper. Like trying to treat a chronic condition with paracetamol—it’s not the wrong tool, it’s just not the whole picture.

For children with neurodiversity, trauma, or mental health needs, behaviour is communication. When we only respond with consequence, we miss the chance to listen to what’s really being said.

That’s where a Needs Policy could help. It wouldn’t replace expectations—it would help us understand how to support children to meet them. It would outline what needs a school can meet, what accommodations are available, and where they might need additional support from other services.

Because sometimes, it’s not about doing more—it’s about doing differently.

And when it comes to fairness, we often hear, “We can’t make allowances—it wouldn’t be fair on the other children.” But children are incredibly capable of understanding difference. With the right guidance, they can learn that fairness doesn’t always mean sameness. It means giving each person what they need to thrive.

This isn’t just about managing behaviour—it’s about building belonging. Because when children feel safe, seen, and supported, they learn more, connect more, and grow more.

So maybe the question we should start asking isn’t, “What’s the consequence?” but instead:

“Can this child’s needs be met here?”

And if not, how do we come together—schools, families, professionals—to build a path forward?

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Rebuilding Connection After Parenting Missteps

Parenting is a journey filled with love, challenges, and, inevitably, moments where we falter. Especially for parents of neurodivergent children or those with additional needs, the daily demands can be overwhelming. In these moments, we might react in ways that don't align with our intentions. But there's hope and healing in the concept of repair.​ In this blog I am going to share some of the theory around repair and then also talk about how we use this in our house.

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This story isn’t a manual for wellness. It’s a personal reflection from a parent who’s walked through mental ill health and slowly, gently, found a way to a place of peace and hope.

Many people close to me have no idea how dark things got. But here I am, writing these words and proving that mental health is a journey.

 Why I’m Sharing My Story

Maybe you’re in your own darkness. Feeling stuck. Isolated. Like there’s no way forward. I hope by sharing my story, there might be a piece of inspiration or connection that helps.

No one leaps into wellness. Recovery isn’t always big or dramatic. You take one small step. And when it feels okay, you take another.

Sometimes that’s just sitting quietly in the sun or reminding yourself your worth isn’t up for debate.
Sometimes it’s saying no. Or yes. Or simply, not now.

Opening Quote by Baz Luhman "Everythings Free".

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