We look at some of the biggest surprises in the football rollercoaster that is the transfer window, find out the secrets of Arsenal's finances, discover a player guaranteed to get you maximum points on scrabble, play classical music alongside football chants, cast our minds back to the time that Real Madrid wanted Alan Pardew, and learn that Mourinho isn’t going anywhere, if only because he can’t be bothered. Also getting a mention in this show: Falkirk, West Ham, Chelsea, David Beckham and Posh Spice (sorry), Andy Carroll, The Lowry Hotel, Alan Partridge, and Jim's crappy house. On The Left Side is written and produced by Ant McGinley and Jim Salveson for Abrupt Audio. Theme music is written and performed by Katalina Kicks and appears with their kind permission. Incidental SFX and music care of www.freesfx.co.uk