Learning to Trust in a World That's Taught Us Not To

In my work with clients, I’ve started noticing a certain pattern, one that shows up again and again, even in our therapeutic relationship. It’s a dynamic that reveals itself subtly at first. Maybe in the hesitation to make eye contact, or the long pause before sharing something vulnerable, or the deflection when asked to go deeper.

Sometimes it’s more overt – a sudden cancellation after a session felt too vulnerable or an unexpected burst of anger at feeling misunderstood. At first, I used to wonder what I had done wrong, but now I see it differently. What I’m witnessing is the original developmental dilemma playing out in real time: the Trust vs. Mistrust stage that Erik Erikson placed right at the start of life, and that, for many of us, has never truly resolved.

The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.