One of the most common questions I get — from clients, from my own lived experience, from people who have spent years wondering — is this: why me? Why did I get an eating disorder when the people around me didn't?

In this episode I'm getting into the real answer. Not the oversimplified version. The actual, nuanced, deeply personal answer — using my own story, my clinical experience, and the framework I use with clients in my group program The Quasi-Recovery Exit to help people understand themselves in a way that actually moves the needle in recovery.

This one is a thinker. I hope it gives you some real clarity.

This Episode Is Brought to You By Cozy Earth

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In This Episode:

• Why I grew up with two sisters, in the same family, doing the same activities — and I'm the only one who got an eating disorder
• The genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger framework — and what it actually means for understanding your own story
• The specific temperament traits I was born with that made me vulnerable to an eating disorder
• How my performing arts high school became the environmental trigger that intensified those traits
• Why understanding what caused your eating disorder is actually one of the most powerful things you can do in recovery
• The identity conversation — how the traits your eating disorder co-opted are actually your greatest strengths
• Why you won't lose yourself when you recover — you'll finally find yourself
• How narrative therapy helps you make meaning of your story without shame
• What to do with the traits you don't want to give up in recovery
• A reframe for the question "what's wrong with me?" — and what to ask instead

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro + new desk setup 2:00 Life update — pregnancy announcement followup, son's hospital stay, Disneyland plans 4:00 A note on binge urges and what they're actually telling you 6:00 Today's topic: what actually causes an eating disorder? 7:00 Growing up with two sisters — same family, same upbringing, only I got an eating disorder 10:00 Genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger 12:00 The temperament traits I was born with — drive, perfectionism, sensory sensitivity 16:00 Early signs of genetic predisposition — body awareness from a very young age 18:00 How performing arts high school became the environmental trigger 22:00 Competition, comparison, and the perfect storm that created my eating disorder 24:00 How to understand your own story through this lens 26:00 The identity conversation — temperament vs conditioning 28:00 Your eating disorder traits are actually your superpowers 30:00 Narrative therapy and making meaning of your story 32:00 What to ask yourself instead of "what's wrong with me?" 35:00 How to channel your traits toward recovery and growth 37:00 Closing thoughts

Practical Reflection Questions From This Episode:

• What traits do I have that might have made me vulnerable to an eating disorder?
• What life circumstances intensified those traits or made the eating disorder necessary?
• What do I actually like about those traits — and do I want to keep them in recovery?
• Where do those traits show up in my life in ways that aren't harmful?
• Can I look back through my story with curiosity instead of criticism?

Quotes from This Episode:

"You don't have to become a different person to recover from your eating disorder. You just have to become who you've always been without the eating disorder casting a shadow over it."

"Every trait that made you good at your eating disorder can make you amaz

Resources + Connect with Me:

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