Show Notes

Summary

In this conversation, LeeAnn Stromyer explores the themes of authenticity and visibility, particularly for women in business. She discusses the fears and negative self-perceptions that often accompany the journey of being seen and heard. LeeAnn emphasizes the importance of reframing negative beliefs and finding safety in one’s authentic self, encouraging listeners to embrace their true selves without fear of judgment. The conversation culminates in a call to action for individuals to reflect on their own narratives and consider how they can live more authentically in their daily lives.

Takeaways

* Authenticity is a journey that requires self-exploration.

* Visibility can bring up fears, especially for women.

* Negative self-perceptions often stem from childhood experiences.

* Reframing negative beliefs can empower personal growth.

* It’s important to acknowledge and address our fears about being seen.

* Self-acceptance is crucial for living authentically.

* We often internalize others’ judgments about ourselves.

* Finding safety in authenticity allows for deeper connections.

* Living authentically goes beyond social media presence.

* Reflecting on personal narratives can lead to greater self-awareness.

If you found this helpful, resonant, you might enjoy working with me. I’ve got all the ways you can work with me in the show notes as well. And remember, as always, you’ve got this dang thing.

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Show Transcript

Today we are going to be talking about what are you afraid people will see when you decide to step into a more truer, authentic version of yourself.

Hi, hello.

Welcome to the Heart Aligned brand podcast. My name is Leanne. I’m a brand strategist, photographer, and mentor helping women in business create.

So aligned, so led businesses.

I am so excited to chat with you today. I’m going to be totally honest with you. I sat down to write out the script, the post, whatever this was going to be. And I realized that I was having trouble articulating my ideas in written form. And so I thought that I would let this be more off the cuff and stream of consciousness.

so it’s not so filtered because I think that this topic is something that so many of us struggle with and there’s a lot of reasons as to why we struggle with this. So without further ado, let’s get into the conversation.

Now, before we get into the meat and potatoes, I want you to hold

that this conversation only has to go as far as you want it to go. When we are on the journey of peeling back those layers and getting closer to our authentic self, there are many evolutions we go through. And no matter where you are in that timeline there will be...

moments where you’re going to be open and ready to go deeper. then there are going to be other times where you just need to go one little baby step forward. you have the agency and the sovereignty to put this away.

Or you can choose to just say that’s not for me right now because nothing in this is meant to create feelings of shame, to create feelings of not enoughness. there have been times where I’m listening to something and a piece of me is very tender and I am not able to receive the message.

That part of me needs more space to be held, to be loved on, as we’re moving through this, know that you can take what you need to take and leave what doesn’t resonate with you, what’s not hitting that mark.

Visibility brings up a lot of emotions because it requires vulnerability. And for women people of color, people who are marginalized anytime that we are stepping into the space of being seen more fully,

there is an inherent risk and fear.

But as business owners and as people who are here to create change, to impact the world in a positive way, we have to find a way through that fear so that our message can be heard.

Now

Years ago when I started my business, one of the biggest voices in my head was, what do you have to say that hasn’t already been said? What do you have to create that hasn’t already been created? And this sort of belief is crippling

because what it does is it minimizes.

what we are here to do on this planet in this brief moment of time. It’s very nihilist, which...

It’s very, it’s a very nihilist viewpoint. And for those of us who have been on this planet for a period of time, the state of the world is bringing this viewpoint out more more more because

We’re exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked, we’re feeling this ever ending not enoughness. And if we’re not careful, we can fall into this trap of believing that nothing matters.

anytime we are endeavoring to do something different, something that we love, something that lights us up, there is inherently that voice in our mind that wants to convince us that what we have to say, what we want to do doesn’t matter.

where do these feelings originate? Where does this really pessimistic, negative view of the world, of ourselves, originate from?

I believe it originates from unintentional harm done to us as we are growing up. for those of us who are in the age bracket of like 30s to

mid 40s, we were in that space where we were coming out of like corporal punishment, spanking kids, yelling at kids, kids are meant to be seen, not heard mentality and sort of moving into a space of more conscious parenting, though I wasn’t necessarily on that receiving end.

but there was still a lot of...

misunderstanding of what does a child look like? How do they exist in the world?

And that’s one of the core wounds we all carry is at some point in our youthfulness, our childhood, we were living in our innocence. Our inhibitions weren’t existent

The people around us are parents, are teachers and fellow children.

reacted parts of ourselves we have pushed into a closet or we quieted because

That part was too much. That part.

was dramatic.

Too loud, too boisterous.

And when we set out to be more visible.

the parts that we have put into our shadow.

have to be addressed because can we really be safe to be seen and visible without

looking at those parts.

So I want you to ask yourself, when you think about visibility and what you’re afraid people will see, what are the common narratives that circulate in your headspace? Here are some that I have personally.

sat with. People will think I’m vain. I’m misunderstood. What if someone says something mean to me? They’ll think I’m too much. No one will like what I have to say. They’ll think I’m cringe or that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

She’s full of herself.

the most surprising for myself was when people did respond positively to what I was sharing, it would actually cause me to go back into myself because that acknowledgement

was really scary because for so long when I let that part of myself out, people reacted negatively so when people reacted positively, I didn’t know how to handle that acknowledgement.

I would actually revert back into, no, don’t see me, don’t see me. what if eventually think that I’m too much, that I overthink, that I go too deep into things and it’s not necessary to do that.

So as I was working through...

figuring out how to be more visible. And I was working on...

reprogramming or reframing these negative beliefs or thoughts. I did this exercise that I found really helpful in shifting my behavior and how I was showing up for myself. Because a lot of the time when we think of being visible, we immediately go to

social media, but being visible is also about

being more authentic in who you are in every moment of your day, in every interaction you have. It’s the trust that if I am more of this part of myself, the people around me can handle it and I won’t be rejected and outcast

it’s way easier for most of us to point at all the negatives than it is to see the positives. It’s negative confirmation bias.

As I was doing this work to figure out how to be more comfortable being seen, I had to start with, What are my judgments about myself or others that’s holding me back from stepping into this?

I sat down and I wrote out all of the negative words that I associated with myself when thinking about just being myself. I wrote controlling, judgmental, a people pleaser, complicated, know it all, scarcity, rescuer, selfish, special.

Fraud. Too much. Greed. Ease. Manipulative.

Over thinker.

and I sat with these words. And some of those words, special, like what’s negative about being special? And when I wrote this out, I was like, wow, that’s really interesting. Ease, what’s so bad about ease?

it’s really easy to look at that list of words and just self-deprecate even further But ultimately I think most of us are good people. We want to do good things in the world and this idea that we have of ourselves is a lot of

other people’s shit that’s been put onto us. Now of course there are times we need to take responsibility and there’s no way that am I saying not to do that, but to the level at which we use these negative beliefs about ourselves to beat ourselves over the head with it is extreme. And our job is to

move through these judgments so that we not only get to a better place internally, but so that we don’t turn around and put that on other people the same way people put it on us.

take each one of those words and find the opposite. Reframe it. Instead of it being a negative, what are the positive aspects of it? How can we take this and shine light onto this in a way that is beneficial?

Is this something that’s really good for boundaries, too?

Let’s take a moment and do this in real time.

Let’s take fraud or fake because this is one that we all experience in some form or another. Another way we talk about it is imposter syndrome.

How can we flip fraud or fake into a positive affirmation that frees us from this very strict view? Instead of being fraud or fake, we could say, I’m a curious.

excited, human, full of nuance.

And when I share, I’m sharing from a place of excitement and joy.

And I know that there will be times that people might want to say, how dare she? She doesn’t have it all figured out, but those people are not my people.

because I’m human,

let’s take controlling.

Instead of saying controlling, what if instead we say, feel safe when I know that everything is in place.

I also know that there are people that I can trust who can take care of this.

Do you see how?

taking it from this very extreme negative viewpoint and tapping into what the behavior is trying to soothe.

and then we want to take accountability for where that behavior can create negative consequences. We create affirmation that addresses the fear.

I feel safe when I know everything is taken care of.

And I also recognize that there are people in my life that I can trust.

who will take care of it, even if it’s not the way that I would do it.

We hold space for what we need, and we acknowledge where the behavior may be sabotaging us.

Now, as I mentioned, when we are...

Moving into being more authentic we often think online, social media.

But I want to challenge you to think about it not in the social media realm, but in who are you being in your day to day.

Because when you’re able to hold space for the fullness of your

Your your experience, the good and the bad.

We teach ourself that it’s safe.

to be more of who we are.

I wanna leave you with this question.

If you woke up tomorrow no longer caring about what people would think about you, family, friends, clients, strangers online.

What would you do differently?

What parts of you would you let shine more? What parts of you would you love more?

I hope that this conversation got your wheels spinning, gave you some insight.

And remember that wherever you are in this walk of being more authentic, stepping into more of who you are, claiming

claiming what is yours.

Fill in what that means for you. And leave whatever needs to be left. Because if it’s something that you’re supposed to hear at some point in your life, you will hear it again.

In the show notes below, I’m going to leave more questions for you to journal on, ponder on.

If you found this helpful, resonant, you might enjoy working with me. I’ve got all the ways you can work with me in the show notes as well. And remember, as always, you’ve got this dang thing.

Thoughts or feelings? I’d love to hear what you have to say about today’s topic of authenticity and strategy in business.

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