Psychoanalytically speaking, to to create a sense of self is to attach.

Not just to people, but to ideas, ideals, desires, and pain. Yeah, even the tough stuff. Because within that, we construct what we consider to be identity. And that's why losing those attachments feels like your heart ripping out of your chest.

In this episode, we explore Judith Butler’s concept of “passionate attachments," or the idea that who we are is shaped by what, and whom, we cannot let go of. Drawing from Freud, Laplanche, Winnicott, Jessica Benjamin, Lacan, and Kristeva, we trace how attachment gives rise to identity, desire, and dependence and how it can both sustain and entrap us.

We’ll talk about:

• How attachment forms the foundation of identity
• Why we cling to what hurts us
• The paradox of freedom and dependence
• How to live consciously within our attachments

We're humans. We're going to trap ourselves. Here's some information to help us trap wisely.

00:00 intro

01:00 object relations theory

02:33 selfhood is entirely based on attachment

03:50 Butler and Psychic Life of Power

04:49 intersubjectivity

05:06 domination and recognition

05:40 what do you orient your life around

06:20 Winnicott and the good enough mother

07:44 Simone de Beauvoir and freedom

10:45 does it feel safer to attach to pain?

11:30 Julia Kristeva and objection

12:19 cutting ties vs understanding what the ties mean

14:25 binding ourselves wisely