An experience many of us deny having —although we have all certainly felt it from time to time—is jealousy, or envy! There is nothing wrong with feeling it, but it becomes healthy or unhealthy based on what we do with it.

We need to accept that jealousy is a common human emotion. With an untrained mind, we feel bad about ourselves when someone has something we desire. When feelings of jealousy are activated within us, we go after the person, maybe even grow to dislike them. Sometimes, despite disagreeing with their lifestyle or character, we still experience feelings of jealousy! Please note, however, that jealousy is not approval or admiration but rather one tiny part of another person’s life that we desire. Once you identify that part, that person becomes irrelevant, well in a kind way. Extend gratitude to them for making you aware of what you want to work on, and then you no longer need to focus on your jealous feelings. Why you felt jealous at first is unimportant; envy simply helped you move closer to knowing yourself better and gave you information about who you want to become.

Now, you can take that understanding and use it for your own growth. You may need to accept what you cannot change, or change what you can. When you see something you desire in another person’s life, offer them the following affirmation: “May what you have continue to grow and grow, and may I have it too.”