You've probably said it—maybe just to yourself: I don't know what I want.

This episode makes the case that this is almost never true.

"I don't know what I want" is rarely a statement about confusion. More often, it's protection. If you never name what you want, it can't fail. It can't make you look selfish for wanting it. And it can't require you to disappoint anyone around you.

In this episode, I share the story of the day I submitted my master's thesis and called my dad in tears—not because something had gone wrong, but because I finally said the thing I'd been not-saying for two years.

Also: what researcher Gabriele Oettingen found about positive thinking—and why keeping a want as a beautiful, vague dream works against you in ways you might not expect.

Your Clarity Nudge this week: don't ask what you want. Ask what you've been almost saying.

Resources mentioned:

→ New Beginning Journal for Women 40+: https://pfclaritytools.etsy.com/de-en/listing/4511094764/new-beginning-journal-for-women-next

→ Energy Reset Map (free): https://powerfemales.com/energy-reset-map/

References:

Hendricks, G. (2009). The big leap: Conquer your hidden fear and take life to the next level. HarperOne.

Jack, D. C. (1991). Silencing the self: Women and depression. Harvard University Press.

Markus, H., & Nurius, P. (1986). Possible selves. American Psychologist, 41(9), 954–969. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.41.9.954

Oettingen, G. (2014). Rethinking positive thinking: Inside the new science of motivation. Current.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2017). Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. Guilford Press.