Today is Day 41 of our reflections on the Gospel of John.  Thanks so much for joining us!  To contact us, visit our website at www.markandkatiemartinez.com

A reflection on John 18:12-27

“Peter again denied it; and at once the cock crowed.” (v 27)

Peter is stunned. He thought that this was the moment, that this was it. He knew and believed with all his heart that Jesus was who He said He was. He was the Messiah, the Rescuer of Israel and Savior of the World, the Son of God. Yet, what had just happened?

When Peter was ready to fight for his Lord, he had been rebuked. And in the moment of shock that followed, Peter watched as Jesus let Himself be led away by a band of soldiers. What is going on?

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Peter follows quietly behind. He keeps replaying the moment over and over again. Had he done something wrong? What had he misunderstood? How had he misunderstood? If only he could speak to Jesus now, Jesus would help him understand and tell him what he was supposed to do next. But he can’t get to Him.

He is let into the courtyard. “Are not you also one of this man’s disciples?” he is asked. He is caught off guard. He looks at the maid, shocked. He blinks away the tears that have sprung into his eyes, as the icy grip of fear closes around his heart. He shakes his head, mumbling, “I am not.”

He feels numb as the shame creeps into his soul. What has he done? He hears nothing but a roar in his ears, and, as he tries to warm his fingers, he can’t even feel the heat of the fire. Another asks, and then another. No, no, he shakes his head. The tears are streaming freely now, and he turns away from the fire so as not to be seen. The cock crows, and a cry of agony is caught in his throat. He hears the words of the Lord echoing in his mind: “Truly, truly, I say to you, the cock will not crow, till you have denied me three times” (13:38). The sob escapes, and he collapses to his knees.

Prayer: Oh Jesus, how many times have I felt like Peter? I have been confused by the way my life is going, I have lost my trust in you, and in those moments, I have denied you. Oh Lord, I am so sorry. Forgive me, Jesus, forgive me.

Scripture quotations are from The Catholic Edition of the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright ©1965, 1966 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved worldwide.