Have you ever seen a leader yell at someone on behalf of their people? The intention is good. The frustration is real. The stakes matter. And sometimes… the strategy is completely wrong.

In this episode of ChatGMB, we reflect on a real encounter in a hotel lobby when the elevators were broken, and a leader chose to escalate by yelling at a frontline worker with little power to fix the situation. The moment offers a powerful lesson about advocacy, power, feedback, and conflict, and how leaders often confuse intensity with effectiveness.

This episode isn’t about shaming. It’s about unlearning, experimenting, and building better tools for navigating conflict when emotions run high. You'll learn:

• Why being right doesn’t automatically make you effective
• How public confrontation often undermines accountability instead of creating it
• The difference between advocating for your people and modeling harmful conflict norms
• Five active, constructive strategies leaders can use to navigate high-stakes conflict
• How leaders unintentionally teach culture through how they handle frustration
• Why conflict competence is a leadership skill and an important part of workplace culture

Key Takeaways:

• Advocacy doesn’t require humiliation or dominance to be effective
• Yelling is often a failure of strategy, not a sign of strength
• How leaders behave under stress teaches teams what’s acceptable
• Public conflict is rarely about the person being confronted
• Skillful escalation and de-escalation beat emotional discharge every time

Resources & Follow Up

• Conflict Competence Skill Inventory (a self-assessment for individuals teams, orgs, and groups)
• Feedback Preparation Template
• Apology Builder Template
• Book on-demand coaching or advisory support: https://www.truereloveution.com/on-demand
• Bring conflict training, facilitated dialogue, or mediation to your organization: [email protected]
• Book a connection call: https://bit.ly/reloveutionconnectioncall
• Connect with Marissa on LinkedIn for ongoing insights and real-time reflections: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marissabadgley

ChatGMB: Wisdom & Insights for Modern Leaders is produced for leaders, managers, and changemakers seeking insight, tools, perspective, and real talk on topics such as human-centered leadership, team culture, conflict transformation, burnout prevention, and more. There is no fancy editing or over-polished scripting. Tune in to hear me in all my imperfection, talking for as long as it feels "right" on the topics that light me up or set me on fire.

If you like what you hear and want more wisdom and insights for your journey, sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter!!

Have a question you'd like us to answer in a future episode? Submit questions (anonymous welcome) HERE.

ChatGMB is a production of Reloveution, a consulting and professional development services provider that leverages the magic of humanity to strengthen teams, deepen leadership impact, and catalyze professional well-being. From facilitating team retreats to leading leadership development programs to robust advisory services, we help you build the emotional and cultural conditions for human thriving AND exemplary business outcomes. Learn more at www.truereloveution.com

You might also be interested in our focused conflict transformation practice RepairWorks. When tension rises, communication breaks down, or trust is broken, RepairWorks provides mediation, facilitated dialogue, advisory services, and training to help individuals, workplaces, teams, and established communities move through and transform conflict with clarity, accountability, and humanity. Learn more at www.conflictrepairworks.com

About the Show

GMB stands for “the Great Marissa Badgley” — a nickname my husband lovingly uses to remind me that I am great, good, competent, courageous, and enough. The name is also a playful nod to ChatGPT, which so many of us rely on for answers (maybe more than we should). Think of this as the human alternative: honest real talk, wisdom sharing, and actionable strategies on the specific leadership and culture topics that surface again and again in my consulting, coaching, and facilitation work.