Sticky Learning Lunches #58: How to Give Feedback Part #1

Need to have ‘That’ conversation but don’t know how, worried how it’ll be received, or just believe that if you ignore it for long enough it’ll go away? This 4-day training will dispel every belief you have about feedback, that you’ve been previously taught or learned by yourself along your leadership journey. Here's How to Give Feedback Part 1.

You Can Read the Full Kantar Market Share Transcript Below:

Nathan Simmonds:

Good afternoon, sticky lunches. Bear with me slideshow from the beginning. Vicki, it is great to see you. Thanks very much for being here, right? We are good. We are live. We're just gonna give it a couple of minutes while I wait for the last couple of people to arrive in the room. Victoria wasn't due to be here. It's great to see her. Good to see you, Tim, as always. Thanks for Martin. I owe you an apology. I'm looking over here at the list, which is why I'm looking down. I put two and two together and came up with seven. Um, Darren reminded me 'cause I didn't recognize the surname and I don't think, just didn't add up.

Our first segment on how to give feedback

 

Nathan Simmonds:

So Martin, thanks very much for being here. Me Masu. Uh, Gareth, thank you very much for being here. Fabian, good to see you. Colin. Good to see you. Last couple of people just arriving maybe 'cause it's glorious sunshine. Everyone's gone out for lunch. Where are we today? Pens at the red aim. He says, on a scale of one to 10, how was your weekend? One being for rubbish, 10 being phenomenal. Where are we and how are we facing into the week? Got some 10. Got some. Nice, nice, good weekends in everyone. Claire, great to see you. Thanks for being here. Just gonna give it 30 more seconds. Eight. Ready for the week. Nice. 10 for the weekend. Eight for today. Ah, that's still good.

Nathan Simmonds:

Just letting everyone get warmed up, getting in their seats, getting comfortable, making sure I've got the right pens. I've forgotten which pens run out. So we might find out that in a minute. He says, let's make sure we get everyone set up for success before we dive into this. First of all, mobile phones. Hold 'em higher. Let's turn 'em on. Let's turn the little airplane on. Let's zero out the distraction a hundred percent, but a hundred percent attention on what we're doing here today.

Nathan Simmonds:

Also, making sure you've got a drink available. We wanna keep, make sure that you are hydrated and keep your brain lubricated to help this learning stick. And finally, as always, you want a fresh page for fresh thinking so that you can take note of those things that you want to remember and remind yourself about so you can reignite that thinking and help keep expanding the ideas and the concepts we're sharing.

Nathan Simmonds:

Still a couple more people just arriving as we're facing into this on their way slowly. What are we covering today? Feedback and giving feedback. And you know, in part also receiving feedback. 'cause you know, if you can't, it's like breathing when we're giving feedback. If you can't breathe in fully, you can't breathe out fully. Hope this makes sense. If you're not able to receive feedback, you're never gonna be able to give the feedback.

Nathan Simmonds:

So we're, we're gonna be covering that over the next four days. We're gonna be looking at the mindset behind feedback and what makes it work. We're gonna be looking at the structures that we can peg our conversations on, and we're gonna be looking at some foundational and advanced ways of delivering that feedback, using that structure and maintaining that mindset. Hope this is gonna be useful.

Nathan Simmonds:

Let's do this. Chelsea, good to see you Lana. Thanks for being here. Amazing. So welcome to today's sticky learning with me. Nathan Simmons, senior leadership coach and trainer for M B M Making Business Matter, the home of Sticky learning. And the idea of these sessions is to help you be the best version of you in the work that you do. Whether that's from home or whether that's returning back to the office, it doesn't matter.

Nathan Simmonds:

We are M B M, making business matter and the providers of leadership development and soft skills to the grocery and manufacturing industry. Question for all you, love you people right now. Then, if we are gonna be talking about feedback for the next four days, including today, what is it you want to get out of, to out, out of these sessions?

Nathan Simmonds:

What is it you want to achieve at the end of these four days? Let me know in the question box right now as just as I have another mouthful of tea. What is it you want to get from learning about feedback? Thinking about how you deliver it, getting others to be honest. Nice. That's good. Definitely gonna cover some of that this week for sure. Any more for anymore. Be more concise and constructive.

Nathan Simmonds:

Nice. How to take the emotion of it, how to take the emotion of it out or keep the emotion in it. Constructive. And how to deliver and measure results. Absolutely faab. And we can definitely do this. Um, is there a structure that can be used when giving feedback? Yes, there absolutely is. We're gonna cover that. Amazing. We've got some good stuff in here.

Nathan Simmonds:

And we're gonna find, I'm gonna answer actually a lot of these as we go through the next four days. Some of it today, um, some of it more over as we go into the rest of the week. So we're definitely looking at this. What is feedback? So we've got some ideas of what you would like to get from these sessions. Phenomenal. Personal. Yeah, personal, personalized, but not emotional. Absolutely. The phrase that I use, is it with this when I'm talking to leaders, is to personalize your work and not take it personally.

Nathan Simmonds:

Uh, some people out there like to look at Picassos, not my thing. Some people like a Rembrandt, you know, or some people, uh, Salvador Dali. When we look at pieces of work, different things resonate for different reasons. And when we come as a leader, um, as a HR professional or l and d professional, whatever, it's when we are delivering feedback or coaching, we're not always designed to work with all those individuals.

Nathan Simmonds:

At the same time, we have to put all our heart and soul into what we do. If someone doesn't like it, and as long as heart and soul and we've done everything that we possibly could hand on heart that you know is, is, is down to them and we still come for the best possible reasons to show up, be present, and deliver the best possible results for those individuals, this is what leading is about. So yes, but not emotional, you know, actually coming back into that, it's important as human beings that we are emotional, but we don't get lost in the emotions. So I use that to kind of underpin that. Personalize your work. Don't take it personally.

Nathan Simmonds:

Hope this is helping so far. Where are we going? What is feedback? Let me throw this question into all of you right now. What do you think feedback is? I'm gonna tell you what we refer to as what is, what does feedback mean to you? Speedy silence. There's a lot of thinking going on. What's happening out there. Helps me get better. Avoid making mistakes. Absolutely. A formal way to, to say what we think about someone. Yeah. Can be as well. Good. Got some good stuff in there. And again, it comes back to this kind of mindset of how we think about things. You know, is it a way that helps me get better?

Nathan Simmonds:

So when I'm giving feedback to someone else, do they see it as a way that helps them get better? Sharing your perception of an event focused on them or me improving? Absolutely. And it might be an individual event, it might be a certain action or, or choice of behavior. Um, that has had several moments a time where we've got evidence of that situation. So how we refer to it. Allison, um, Kathy, one of the trainers from the team at M B M shared this meeting.

Nathan Simmonds:

What do you think it is? Feedback is helping others maximize their potential. Raise awareness of strengths, areas for improvements and identify actions to be taken. Okay? So the key thing in here is also understanding when we say this is feedback is helping others identify actions to be taken. So it's not me coming over and giving you a list of things to do based on something I may have observed that may not be the truth or the reality.

Nathan Simmonds:

And expecting that person to take action, yes or no. Who here likes being told what to do? Yes or no? I know I've asked this question before to some of you previously got a couple of got a no and a yes and a no one does. In truth, when we're in a working environment, no one likes being told what to do unless we are working in very specific jobs and mostly those are the military. But when we're in, um, production or organizations and it's constantly tell, tell, tell.

Nathan Simmonds:

Eventually, our creativity and our innovative thinking starts to depreciate. 'cause we're always waiting for someone else to give us that piece of information. And when we run out of work, we'll stand there waiting until that person turns up to give us more work rather than taking the, the initiative to do that thing. Now the interesting thing when it comes to being told what to do is we don't like being told what to do unless it's us telling us hope.

Nathan Simmonds:

Makes sense? How many people here when they were 14, um, and their dad told them to do something, their mom or dad told them to do something, uh, and that they, you knew they were right, but you didn't want to let them know they were right. How many people yes or no have done this? No. You are a young teenager. Mom or dad tells you to do something like, nope, not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it because you are 40 and I'm 14 and I know better than you everyone.

Nathan Simmonds:

Yes. Oh,