What happens when the people who shaped your life slowly move away… and you’re the one left behind? In this episode, we unpack the grief, bitterness, humor, and unexpected growth that come from friendships changing over time, especially in transient cities like Los Angeles. You’ll hear honest reflections on how to stay connected, why effort matters more than proximity, and what it really takes to maintain meaningful friendships when life pulls everyone in different directions.

Chapters

00:00 — Becoming friends without ever meeting in college

01:04 — How shared hobbies (D&D, game nights) create real bonds

02:06 — Why making new friends as an adult feels so hard

05:13 — What it’s like when your entire friend group moves away

06:14 — Milestone moments (birthdays, weddings) without your people

07:18 — How the pandemic changed long-distance friendships

09:09 — Post-college burnout, bad jobs, and survival mode

14:06 — Three “strategies” for dealing with friends who leave (and why only one works)

16:57 — The toxic inner monologue of wanting friends to stay

19:24 — Why people really leave LA (hint: it’s not careers)

21:24 — Sadness vs. bitterness when friendships change

25:24 — Being the one who leaves vs. the one who stays

27:06 — Staying connected through games and shared activities

30:03 — How hobbies keep friendships alive over distance

34:11 — The invisible labor of holding friend groups together

35:02 — The recycling story that accidentally reveals how broken systems work

44:23 — Community, responsibility, and small shared norms

49:04 — Final takeaway: friendships are worth the effort, even if they change

Keywords

adult friendships

friends moving away

long-distance friendships

maintaining friendships

life transitions

friendship grief

losing friends

community building

post-college life

making friends as an adult

friendship effort

changing relationships

staying connected

pandemic friendships

friendship and distance