We have one word for love, but the Greek language has multiple: agape, phileo, storge, and eros. What is the difference between agape and phileo love? What about eros and storge? Read or listen to this material from Your Marriage God’s Way to find out.

Table of ContentsDefining the Different Kinds of LoveEros —Physical AttractionStorge —Natural AffectionPhileo —Strong AffectionAgape —A Superior LoveA Wife's Phileo for Her HusbandA Husband and Wife's Different Needs

What are a few things I love? I love my kids, eating popcorn, and teaching the Bible. Another man might say, “I love my wife, football, and working on my car.” For this man’s wife’s sake, let’s hope he loves his wife differently than he loves football and automobiles. For my kids’ sake, let’s hope I love them differently than I love eating popcorn.

Have you ever noticed that the English word love can be used in a wide variety of ways that fail to distinguish between different shades of meaning? Our love for things we enjoy differs from the love we experience in relationships. Even within our relationships, the kinds of love we experience will vary significantly. We love our parents differently from how we love our spouse, and we love our children differently from how we love our pastor, fellow church members, or coworkers.

Defining the Different Kinds of Love

What kind of love should a husband have for his wife within a marriage relationship? Or a wife for her husband? What does such love look like? If we are to obey God’s command to love our spouse, we must be able to answer these questions. The New Testament was originally written almost entirely in Greek, containing four different words for love: eros, phileo, storge, and agape. Let’s define and examine a biblical picture of each. With a clearer understanding of three words for love—eros, storge, and phileo—we will be better prepared to understand the superior form of love: agape.

Why is it so crucial for us to understand agape? This word appears twice in Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love [agape] your wives, just as Christ also loved [agape] the church and gave Himself for her.” Agape is the love husbands are commanded to have for their wives, and it is the love Christ has for His bride, the church. It is also the love God has for each of us: “God so loved [agape] the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). We must understand agape so husbands will know how to love their wives, so wives will know how their husbands should love them, and so we can all realize the greatness of God’s love for us.

Eros—Physical Attraction

Eros is the only Greek term for love that is not used directly in Scripture. The word eros refers specifically to physical attraction or physical intimacy between a husband and wife. In contrast to agape, eros is more of a feeling than a demonstration of loving action toward someone.

Although the word "eros" does not appear in Scripture, we can see this kind of love on display. Eros is what Samson felt in Judges 14:2 when he told his parents, “I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, get her for me as a wife.” Eros is how King David found himself in the worst trouble of his life when he stepped out on his rooftop and spotted “[Bathsheba] bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold” (2 Samuel 11:2). Song of Solomon gives a clear depiction of eros as it describes the strong physical attraction the man and woman feel toward each other.

Eros is self-centered in the sense it relates to the way a person feels and what a person wants. Little to no consideration is given to the object of one’s eros. Unlike agape, eros is conditional and will not move a person to be forgiving or sacrificial, which is why it’s important not to base a marriage on eros or physical attraction. Many couples find themselves wanting to get married due to strong f...