What is Community?  In this episode, I share what it can look like when we are fully present, listening and sharing openly and how that can strengthen our sense of community.

What’s in this episode for you:

• A definition of community that you can apply to any situation
• 3 core ways of being that will deepen your connections
• 3 activities to hone your skills for connecting conversations
• Hopefully, a few laughs

Poem: Excerpt from One Drum, by Richard Wagamese:

It begins as all things do with stories. When our ancestors gathered around their tribal fires, stories were told.

As a human family we have tradition in common. Many have forgotten their beginnings, but next time you're out with people, and it is a summer night, and a campfire is lit. Watch how everybody responds to it.

As night falls and the flames climb higher people, regardless of their cultural background, will lean in toward the flame. Some will cup their chin in their hand others will lean forward with their elbows on their knees. Still others might lean back in their chair and idle there, never taking their eyes off the fire.

A pervasive quiet descends, and soon there is only the crackle of the fire, the snap of the logs. Everyone breathes more deeply. Everyone relaxes.

This scenario happens everywhere around the world. When people gather in a circle around a fire in the night. I believe it is because we all carry a specific cellular memory based on the spiritual feeling of togetherness, safety, and belonging. It is the basis of our human identity, community, and it is formed in all of us, a long, long time ago.

There is a particular magic that exists when the world is reduced to a flame, and the sound of a human voice is talking. We all respond to that setting like children, wrapped with wonder and entranced by the possibility of story.

A connection tool:

Here are a few tools to start playing around with if you want to hone your skills in having more connecting conversations:

1. Challenge yourself to listen only and then reflect back what you heard in your next conversation.
2. Return to the honeymoon phase! In your next tense conversation put your position down and get curious. Pretend you just met this person and really want to know what led them to their opinion. Then, listen.
3. Set a reminder in your phone that says “How do I feel?” When it goes off, pause, and reflect. The more you hone this skill, the easier it will be to stay present in tricky conversations.

Challenge accepted?

Pick up the talking piece: 

What came up for you as you listened to this episode? I'd love to hear your experiences with any of the reflections and exercises in this episode. Send me an email at [email protected] or head to www.humconsulting.ca/podcast to leave a voicemail.

Gratitude: 

Circle of Change is recorded on lək̓ʷəŋən territories.

Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E-Rol Beats. You can find his creations at www.erolbeats.com

My fabulous podcast coach, Mary Chan of Organized Sound Productions, brought this podcast to life www.organizedsound.ca