What Is Love?

David W Palmer

“God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

—(Romans 5:5 ESV)

After Jesus’s ascension into heaven, the Holy Spirit came to fill us and lead us. As we follow and learn from him, love is what he is ultimately guiding us into. So, what is love? 

Definition and Description of Love

Worldly definitions of love range from physical affection to animal instinct, and from superficial niceties to a catchy name of endearment, “G’day love!” To find the true meaning of love, however, we need to look at what God’s word has to say about it:

1. The Bible’s Description of Love

(1 Corinthians 13:4–8 DKJV) “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. {5} It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. {6} Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. {7} It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. {8} Love never fails. …”

Here we have a description of the God-kind of love; it’s possibly the closest thing to a definition of love that the Bible gives us. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit describes the attributes of love in detail. (Remember, the word of God more often describes a thing rather than defining it.) I believe it is vitally important for all Christians to study, understand, and learn these verses; and then to go to God’s throne to receive the grace needed to live by them:

(Hebrews 4:16 NLT) “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

2. Love Is Intimate Transparency

(John 5:20 NLT) “For the Father loves the Son and shows him everything he is doing. …”

Jesus and his Father enjoyed a close, deep, one-on-one, personal friendship and communication that was intimate, private, and completely unguarded. To say that this is not part of love is as silly as saying that kissing and intimacy are not part of marriage. After all, God designed marriage in a way that this is the very safe loving environment into which a new human is conceived into the world.

God wants a similar intimate openness and exclusive spiritual intimacy with us. In marriage it is a physical, one flesh, union; but with God, it is a spiritual union in which we become one spirit with him:

(1 Corinthians 6:17 ISV) “But the person who unites himself with the Lord becomes one spirit with him.”

In the relational safety of this pure love, we can unguardedly open our hearts to him without fear of rejection or ridicule; and he will reveal his heart, disclose his intentions, and implant the seeds of his ideas, dreams, visions, and desires for you. 

3. Love Is Actions

(1 John 3:16–18 NLT) We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. {17} If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? {18} Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

In this passage, the Holy Spirit through the apostle John shows clearly that love is only love when it is expressed in loving actions. (In other words, love is what love does!) Love therefore, is far more than nice feelings. Yes, the feelings of love are important; they are God’s wonderful gift to us. But they are more of a bonus side-affect of love rather than the essence of love itself.

Love is expressed in self-sacrificing acts of benevolence. Jesus’s supreme example of this is his dying on the cross—laying his life down so that we may live. For us, love is the very same thing; love is laying our lives down, putting God and others first, and serving them in very practical ways. Love is of God, and love is action and service! “Let us … love in … deed and in truth.”

(1 John 3:18 ESV) Little children, let us