A word commonly used in the discussion of modern relationships is ‘narcissism’ and is frequently brought up in John’s sessions with clients. As the awareness of narcissism among us grows, John is going to offer insight and clarity on its various aspects and dangers and how it can affect our search for a meaningful relationship. In this episode, John will explain the different types of narcissism that present themselves within society and their associated dysfunctions.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Narcissism is based on fragility and insecurity. It results in a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, superficiality and a tendency to manipulate and exploit other people.
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is rare, affecting an estimated one per cent of the population. It is suspected when narcissistic traits affect a person’s daily functioning.
• Grandiose Narcissism involves overestimating one's abilities, exerting one's dominance over others and having a generally inflated sense of self-esteem.
• Overt Narcissists can be charming but lack empathy. In conversation, they don’t relate to people but aim to ‘one-up’ them. This may be because they crave attention or enjoy seeing others hurt or confused.
• Covert Narcissists tend to be shy and self-effacing despite being highly self-focused. They can appear highly sensitive, crave recognition and are envious. They cannot take criticism and believe their suffering is beyond anyone else’s.   
• Malignant Narcissists are manipulative and malicious. They are sadistic and aggressive and are often mistaken for sociopaths or psychopaths.
• Seductive Narcissists use praise, gifts and outright flattery to gain attention and affection in return, but will drop someone and move to the next as soon as that attention diminishes.
• Communal Narcissists see themselves as highly altruistic but behave in the opposite way. They are outraged by injustice but do not apply it to their own actions and behaviours.

 

BEST MOMENTS

‘’Narcissism is the second-hand smoke of our time. If you stand too close to it you are going to get sick’ – Dr Ramani Durvasula’   

‘There is a hunger for appreciation or admiration, a desire to be the centre of attention, an expectation of special treatment, a perceived higher status.’

‘A pathological narcissist naturally views everyone else as inferior and may be intolerant of your opinions if you disagree or ask questions.’  

‘They are predatory in their seeking of vulnerability in other people, highly competitive and show aggressive tendencies.’

‘Competitiveness is a personality trait that is associated with many narcissistic types but is especially noticeable with the Antagonistic Narcissist. A low level of trust in others creates a tendency to see the people around them as rivals, arguing frequently with others and regarding most social interactions as a competition.’  

‘A sexual narcissist feels entitled to have their needs met. They have a self-centred view of sex and tend not to be skilled at emotional intimacy and are therefore not very interested in their partner's needs.’

‘In small amounts, it (narcissism) may even give you a healthy edge in getting ahead in the world and this is termed as Healthy Narcissism.’

 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

 

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The Bicycle Affect:

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ABOUT THE HOST

 

I am John Kenny, Award Winning Relationship Coach.

Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

 

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