Pick a challenging area of your caregiving day.  You know, that time of day that you feel stuck or when your loved one just doesn't participate at the level they need to.  What if your unique personality traits could be used to help you through those and  make it a little less frustrating?
 
There is a term that health care providers know as  'therapeutic use of self' which is defined as the 'thoughtful and deliberate use of one's personality, opinions, and judgments as a component of the therapeutic process', according to Mosby's Medical Dictionary (2009).   
Just think about this as it applies to  an area of your day in caregiving and in your regard to your interactions with your loved one.  If you interjected a therapeutic level of listening and use of your insights with your unique personality traits; you can experience a very different interaction. 

I am not suggesting that you apply therapeutic use of self all through your caregiving day because that would be so exhausting.  You start with just one area and apply it each day.  I invite you to take a personal challenge of applying this idea to one area of your caregiving day, starting tomorrow.  Be consistent about your application for 5 days in this one area.  Consider video taping the task or interaction on day 1 and then again on day 5.  Set a goal that you would like to achieve.  It could be to have less tension between you and your loved one, to have more participation, to accomplish the task with less strain.  Whatever it is that creates a challenge to you and your loved one; the goal should be to minimize it with the application of therapeutic use of self. 

As you practice this application of your personality in one area/activity of your day, you will experience an ease to it.  As an OT that has used this tool as part of my practice for 20 years, it is something that happens without me thinking about it.  This can happen for you to.  The use of this approach has these benefits: builds trust,  increases participation,  increases positive interactions,

Another benefit of using "therapeutic use of self" is how it helps you to maintain your relationship with your loved one if you are a wife or partner for example.  Caregiving throughout the day can cause a dilution of your deeper relationship, whether that is intimate, spiritual,  companionship and nurturing.  You can't allow the caregiver role to blur all the other lines that create your relationship.  This applies to you if you a caregiver to an adult child, sibling, best friend or other relative.  If you want to maintain your relationship it may benefit you to begin compartmentalizing your role and applying yourself therapeutically at times throughout the day and reserving yourself on a non caregiver role to maintain your relationship levels in other areas. 
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